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Recent front page messages:

(Thu 29th Mar 2018, 23:15, More)

"R2, if anyone asks, I heard the disembodied voice of a dead guy telling me to turn off the computer, okay?"

(Sun 4th Mar 2018, 21:56, More)

"But the SatNav said there was plenty of clearance..."

(Thu 1st Mar 2018, 19:51, More)

(Wed 21st Feb 2018, 22:58, More)

:) Dragging this one out for a farewell repost before it gets retired to the country to live out its days

(Thu 23rd Nov 2017, 14:27, More)

Free Binder (100g white flour) with part one

(Thu 2nd Nov 2017, 16:39, More)

(Mon 29th May 2017, 22:10, More)

(Fri 16th Dec 2016, 16:29, More)

This seemed funnier in my head

(And a check suggests some papers have already coined the term. Sod it)
(Tue 6th Oct 2015, 15:44, More)

It's been nearly 2 years since I reposted this!

(Sat 15th Aug 2015, 0:20, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Amazing Projects

Cat climbing frame perch nest thingy
I finished this bit of carpentry recently. I'm rather proud of it. 2 weeks on and it hasn't fallen down yet.


Cat inspecting the quality workmanship...

Laser kitteh demanding to know why the carpet lining isn't properly installed yet...

Kitteh deciding the nest is adequate. For now.

The topmost ledge, the nest, is about 2.1m above the floor. It's all made with about 26 quids' worth of Swedish pine and held together with steel brackets and screws. Very sturdy, hardly any flex (cats like steady surfaces). And before someone comments, the door isn't used, it leads into the kitchen (and is blocked on the other side by a cupboard anyway) so I decided to use the recess for kitteh.
(Thu 17th Nov 2011, 18:08, More)

» Celebrities part II

I saw John Leslie being rude with Annabel Giles
The two were up on Calton Hill (here in Edinburgh) many years ago (before Leslie's shenanigans), filming some cheesy treasure-hunting gameshow (so obscure it's not even listed on IMDB). I said hi and asked if I could take some photos for the student newspaper. They said sure, and posed by one of the rangerovers. As Ms Giles bent over the front of the vehicle, Leslie went behind her and pretended to hump her, doggy-style.

My greatest regret to this day is not being fast enough with the camera to have captured that moment.

Length? Just ask Catherine Zeta-Jones...
(Thu 8th Oct 2009, 15:07, More)

» Local Criminals

Many years ago...
...I knew a guy called Jim. Friendly lad. Very active in the Students Union and LGBT at university.

Fast forward a few years...
(Thu 22nd Sep 2016, 0:01, More)

» Ripped Off

Orange phones
Many years ago, I had a mobile phone contract with Orange. Usual thing - pay them shedloads of cash for a year of service. After that, they started charging monthly. So, thought I, rather than pay them loads of money for a service I don't use that much, why not get a Pay As You Go SIM card and use that with the handset?
So, I phoned them up and asked for the unlock code for the handset. They said, sure, but we'll have to send off to Motorola to get the code, and it'll take maybe 2 weeks. Sure enough, 2 weeks or so later, they phone back, saying we have the code, but there's an admin fee of 20 quid that Motorola charge if you want it. So, says I, get thee hence to where Ra's Chariot does not journey, I'll call you back.
Oh, did I mention I worked at the time as internal tech support at a call centre? A call centre which just happened to have Motorola as a client on the top floor. And, being a techie, I was on first-name terms with the managers there. So, a little wander up the stairs, a quick word with several Motorola managers, and I discover that Motorola gives all codes to Orange when they take receipt of the phone. The whole 2-weeks, Motorola-charge-us line was nonsense. So I phoned Orange back and said, hey, remember what you told me earlier? I've just spoken to some Motorola managers. Care to revise your statement? Poor girl ummed and ahhed and passed me to a snotty supervisor who asked if I wanted the code, to which I politely said "Naaaa."
End of story - contract cancelled, phone recycled, Virgin PAYG SIM in a new phone.
(Mon 19th Feb 2007, 16:56, More)

» Easiest Job Ever

Duty First Aider
I once worked part-time as a duty First-Aider at the local ice rink.

The job itself meant wandering around the building with a walkie-talkie, occasionally dispensing plasters to people who didn't wear double socks or tie their boots tight enough and got blisters, and maybe even dealing with real injuries once in a while (highlight was a kid with a broken forearm). But mostly I'd spend the entire shift sitting in the engineer's office/broom cupboard, playing chess with him. And he was damn good at the game too. Other times I'd sit in the first aid room reading books for the entire shift.

Pay was rubbish but it stopped the benefits people sneering at me...
(Thu 9th Sep 2010, 13:22, More)
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