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Does anyone have any mythical cures for severe fucking ear ache?

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:25, Reply)
Jam an ice pick up your nose and wiggle it around.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
it worked for trotsky

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:27, Reply)
well it certainly cured his ear ache

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:35, Reply)
you fucking wanker
I just posted the best joke I've ever made. Prick.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:27, Reply)
shame I might've liked to read that
not scrolling down now though
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:29, Reply)
No, I don't blame you
It's ok, I've reported this shit head to Rob. He'll be IP banned by the end of day.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:31, Reply)
I pee lol

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:32, Reply)
Erm, it's a computer thing, m8
grow up, yeah?
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:34, Reply)
soz m8

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:35, Reply)
Ian Paul Freeley was a payable character in Rise Of The Triad.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:35, Reply)
Banned again

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:42, Reply)
You'll be especially upset
The joke was fish related
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
Then I say ban him properly this time

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:45, Reply)
Hahahaha IP banned
Like that’s a thing
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)

for you
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:30, Reply)
^

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:34, Reply)
Pour olive oil down there and leave it for a while to break down all the wax
then take a hot bath with a few drops of vinegar in it, and immerse your head until dead.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
the best thing you can do is beaker about it on the internet

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
So unlike how he used to be

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
Pinch your nostrils and try to blow through your nose.
It might hurt, at first, but persevere and you'll eventually blow out your eardrums, which will release the pressure and cure your earache for good.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:31, Reply)
kill yourself

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:35, Reply)
Yes
stop listening to the music of Ed Sheeran!

lol
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:39, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:39, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:43, Reply)
haha
he's not very good, is he
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:44, Reply)
That one about the prozzie on coke was alright

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:46, Reply)
Having seen him live from about 3 feet away, what he does with loop pedals and so on is really fucking clever
Either that or it's piss easy and I just don't understand modern technology
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:47, Reply)
In truth, I've not knowingly heard any of his music
Reggie Watts ftw.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:49, Reply)
it's the latter
I've seen hundreds of acts do this and only two of them have been any good
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:54, Reply)
Oh well.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:56, Reply)
I've had a bit of success with mine
As you say, it's not hard. It's just practise.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:57, Reply)
drill into your earhole with a 6mm wood bit

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:48, Reply)
Painkillers

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:56, Reply)
You fucking genius

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 10:10, Reply)
Yeah, me.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:57, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 7:18, Reply)
Yup

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 7:39, Reply)
friday friday gotta get down on friday etc

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 7:46, Reply)
I've just seen the new "peer support" poster for college.
It's sort of students that are volunteers to help other stressed students. Under each picture is the preferred pronouns of these people.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:38, Reply)
I only recognise "he" "she" and "it"
It's bad enough speaking one language with 6 different genders, let alone another with a artificial crowdpleasing ones thrown in every other week.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:44, Reply)
Yes, indeed.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 7:50, Reply)
cheer up, the weekend's nearly here

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:07, Reply)
Hoping to get a quiet table at the comic shop, tomorrow,
where I can paint my soldiers and drink coffee. Extra bonus if they've finally got their coffee machine plumbed in.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)
I'm glad you save your wife and kids the embarassment of having you around the house when guests might visit

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:31, Reply)
It's saved my marriage!
Also, I get to spend some quality time with my little girl, as she'll be doing the same.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:33, Reply)
Friyay fel

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 7:52, Reply)
don't talk with your mouth full

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:08, Reply)
y

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 7:56, Reply)
+w/
+/h
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:08, Reply)
I've got a funny name today.
One of the students is called Miss C. Bream.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
She sounds like quite the catch!
jajajajaja
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:27, Reply)
Get up.
Then, once this step has been successfully completed, get on up.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:09, Reply)
I'm already as up as I can be m8

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:18, Reply)
A new day, another step closer to the grave!

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:15, Reply)
the positive aspect is that this applies to you as well.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:19, Reply)
I don't believe it!

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
Hi

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:22, Reply)
wotcha

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:26, Reply)
Clash weekend challenges starting, I want the magic books

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:30, Reply)
not logged on in yonks, picked up War Planet Online just so I could chat with my brother

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:31, Reply)
It's made me play more

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:38, Reply)
+with myself

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:00, Reply)
Not till I unlock bowlers

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
I never got the hang of them

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:13, Reply)
I just want all troops unlocked , hopefully I get a magic book and can instant unlock

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
ugh

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:34, Reply)
^privileged american teen girl

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:37, Reply)
And when a child is born into this world
It has no concept
Of the tone the skin it's living in
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
shut up Nenah you dumb cunt

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 8:59, Reply)
how many voices?

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
a mheeeeleon

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
they said it couldn't be done yet here we are

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
the only thing that can't be done is you

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
I don't follow you

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:13, Reply)
Not even on insta ?

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
nah I check it occasionally to see if he has posted any more belfies, but it's mostly just lego nonsense

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:19, Reply)
I signed up but all I got were selfies of duckfaced geriatrics
turns out I'd logged into instagran
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:29, Reply)


(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:31, Reply)


(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:37, Reply)


(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:44, Reply)
FriYAY
Hope you've all got some lovely things planned for the weekend.

No Trump visit either next month, so that's also good.
Threw his toys out the pram, proper
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
moving house :(

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
Ah but just think you and your daughter can stroll through the wonderful rotherhide tunnel and explore bermondsy , gertcha

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:13, Reply)
+to the white+

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
+in
one of the best Pixies b-sides
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
Choir rehearsal and drinks tonight.
Going to see a play about the poly lifestyle tomorrow, then go to a friend's concert if I get out in time.

I'm also supposed to be doing something with a friend on Sunday but we haven't decided what yet.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
Spoiler: he wants a cracker.

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:22, Reply)
Yer alright Frank Carson.
Then again, who doesn't?
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:25, Reply)
Louis Farrakhan

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
Lol

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:29, Reply)
^

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:45, Reply)
rearranging furniture
so I'll probably spend Sunday on the sofa with medicinal booze after putting my back out.
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
not sure what's so good about the erosion of our special relationship with the world's largest economy at a time when we are cutting ourselves off from our main trading partners

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:25, Reply)
We don't hate America, just Trump.
and he's successfully depleting his relationships all over the globe
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 9:55, Reply)
Clean thread, say what you like.
Off to bed so I'm not going to answer anyway so feel free to vent, be a tool, declare war, whatever. I don't care. Have fun and be yourself. Or be big boobs.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 23:32, Reply)
Hello

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 1:17, Reply)
hi

(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 1:19, Reply)
Alright you sad wanker
Genuinely a little worried about this post it is out of character smash monkey
(, Fri 12 Jan 2018, 2:58, Reply)
FUCK YOU GUYS, JUST FUCK THE FUCK OFF!!!!!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:08, Reply)
^ upset

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:09, Reply)
Hiya xx

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:15, Reply)
Rachel Khoo said "n", then?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:12, Reply)
Y

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:15, Reply)
classic

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:19, Reply)
Intercourse

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:21, Reply)
I put overkill on the jukebox and they turned it down , wankers

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:12, Reply)
No respect

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:19, Reply)
are you sure that is what you really want?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:47, Reply)
I think he really, really, really wants a zigazig, ah.
By which I mean banning
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:15, Reply)
Wobble alert!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:47, Reply)
No fat chix m8

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:00, Reply)
Yeah bunch of pricks that lot

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:12, Reply)
Alright toocs xx

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:17, Reply)
alright spani... WAIT A MINUTE

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:19, Reply)
Dribble xx

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:35, Reply)
$$

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:36, Reply)
Oh well that's just bang out of order

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:37, Reply)
would you like some cereal?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:46, Reply)
show me your peninsula please

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 19:29, Reply)
It's not a peninsula
It's actually an archipelago
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 20:48, Reply)
I could show you my project for a lovely bevedere looking over one ? I doubt that is enough, soz

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 21:20, Reply)
You think you've got it bad?
I was promised booze but all that's here is cheap Merlot
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 20:47, Reply)
Ok cool

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 21:03, Reply)

youtu.be/W5PItDrtjOA
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 21:44, Reply)
:D
Red wine makes me hurl
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 22:13, Reply)

I found the bacardi. It's all good.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 23:13, Reply)
Well, that thread was a waste of time.
Alright?
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:57, Reply)
Meh.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:02, Reply)
yer

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:02, Reply)
Nearly pub time I reckon

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:07, Reply)
The only person I share a bed with is Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:08, Reply)
And those sailors

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:14, Reply)
I prefer the term disciples

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:15, Reply)
his lord and sailiour?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
bumholes

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:13, Reply)
I am the hero of the hour: my diplomatic skills have thawed the impasse with our warehouse.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:16, Reply)

plomati s ills have
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
excellent

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:46, Reply)

excell b
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:48, Reply)
you offered them drugs, didn't you?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:39, Reply)
meh
job centre today, they're signing me up for all kinds of "computer skills" courses. i've seen these courses, mostly they involve teaching people what a mouse is.
also, i have to dogsit till sunday and my sister's dogs fucking stink.
that being said, she's got netflix and booze.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:19, Reply)
Give the dogs a bath

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:40, Reply)
the old one won't let me touch her
evil little jack russell bitch, very bitey
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:51, Reply)
Jack Russells are a nasty breed.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:14, Reply)
Hello everyone

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:35, Reply)
Yeah, alright
You?
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 16:46, Reply)
rude

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 17:02, Reply)
Hello

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 20:57, Reply)
Not too bad at all, ta.
I've come home from a two-hour job interview feeling distinctly positive.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 20:02, Reply)
Oh, bollocks
After 4 hours machining various precision holes in a piece of steel, snapped off a tap in the very last hole, job ruined.

Fuck.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:06, Reply)
FUCK. OFF.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:09, Reply)
You reckon he'll stick around?
Do you reckon it's shambles?
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:14, Reply)
Jesus, what a fucking stupid fucking cunt

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:11, Reply)
Can you not just wind the tap out and rethread it?
Also, it's probably your own fault, what cutting paste were you using? Or grease?
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:14, Reply)
I think you know the answer to this

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:16, Reply)
Why would someone lie on the internet about something so fucking dull?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:19, Reply)
Hello, newperson!
Please read our FAQ.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:23, Reply)
why does anybody do anything ever?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
exactly
might just die in my sleep tonight
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:33, Reply)
might join you

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:35, Reply)
Bloody poofters

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:38, Reply)
same room, separate beds

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:42, Reply)
running jump?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:45, Reply)
drill

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)

No I can't (although a carbide burr might do the trick), yes of course it was (banged the cross slide and snapped it off full depth), a tallow / light oil mix.

Thanks for the support, you horrible bunch of cunts.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:44, Reply)
n1

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:15, Reply)
l.ol

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:17, Reply)
Was the steel 904L ?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:21, Reply)
GOAL!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:28, Reply)
Precision holes!!
Like YM!
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
Not like yours, though.
more of a "hand cut with an oxy torch" vibe going on there, I found.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 18:46, Reply)
no pudding for you

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:32, Reply)
that's a shame

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:34, Reply)
Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:41, Reply)
Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:42, Reply)
Empathy is really the opposite of spiritual meanness. It's the capacity to understand that every war is both won and lost. And that someone else's pain is as meaningful as your own.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 15:53, Reply)
SoCo and lime time!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:10, Reply)
I had cherry flavoured jim beam last night
it's not as rancid as I expected.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:13, Reply)
yeah I had a shot of that on Crimbo
not totally rank
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:15, Reply)
it's chuggable with doctor pepper

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:19, Reply)
Everything about this idea is slightly upsetting.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)
because it doesn't taste of tweed and socialism?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:33, Reply)
I imagine it tastes like cough syrup.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:35, Reply)
I bet you're more used to sucking on a Fishermans Friend

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:43, Reply)
It's a living.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:00, Reply)
uh oh, here we go!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:20, Reply)
Lash up lash up, lads lads lads.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:21, Reply)
The Great Twatsby

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:28, Reply)
RIP Fast Eddie Clarke

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:38, Reply)
As it was only mentioned the other day
youtu.be/co9yv2NjyWs
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:54, Reply)
philthy phil on drums too!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:01, Reply)
All dead

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:02, Reply)
the band have been a trigger's broom for a while already though
like so many other 70s dinosaurs
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:04, Reply)
Triggers broom , is a trigger for me, they are an old blokes band that plays in my local, they're shit

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:06, Reply)
One of the worse renditions of Johnny b Goode you'll ever likely to hear, hth
youtu.be/hrqfAY2B8C4
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:12, Reply)
yer, that's tragic

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:22, Reply)
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:50, Reply)
I went out soz

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 14:40, Reply)
It's all kicking off here today
Huge row with warehouse company over billing/performance. I've had to wade in as 'good cop' to hopefully prevent them from putting our account on stop. It's really not good.

How's your day panning out so far?
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
So, you sacked all your staff and outsourced to the lowest bidder,
and now said lowest bidder isn't performing well? Nice one, capitalism.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:24, Reply)
Imagine that I add an 'S' to lowest, then strikethrough the 'er' from 'bidder', and replace it with a 'Y'
Implying that McBeef has replaced all of his staff with a physically infirm elderly person.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:28, Reply)
Then laugh at how witty I am

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:29, Reply)
I'm laughing out loud!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
haha, it's quite good, isn't it

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
You're asking a lot from your audience, 2H.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
you're insane, the audience loves me

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
They'll never love you like I do.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:40, Reply)
oh jeez

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:41, Reply)

media.giphy.com/media/I4Jmrcjnr8Zfq/giphy-downsized-large.gif
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
damn right

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:34, Reply)
it's the final frame that summarises my own reaction m8

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/583/267/e8a.gif
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
and if there's one thing those guys know, it's comedy

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:36, Reply)
I've found some pretty nice New Wave stuff on YouTube so far.
Other than that, got up late and had to eat breakfast while standing on the tram platform. Nothing much else of note has happened yet today.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:25, Reply)
Is it not Old Wave now?
Wave hello, goodbye
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:43, Reply)
No, you're thinking of Old Spice, the official name of the Spice Girls reunion tour.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:46, Reply)
Sat in my pants with a coffee watching Frasier
Life is sweeeeeet
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:30, Reply)
+h

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:33, Reply)
Poooeeee

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:33, Reply)
I just had my video creation process reviewed by an external team
conclusion: I do it better than they do, I'll be taking over the work we usually outsource to them, V's flicked all round.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:31, Reply)
Extra work for no extra money?
Nice one, capitalism.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:33, Reply)
who said no extra money?
I charge by the hour, more work = more dosh. That's lunch sorted.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:36, Reply)
Working ever longer hours and becoming estranged from your wife and child?
Nice one, Grrrmachine.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:39, Reply)
it's more likely that this project will just eat into my wanking and reddit time allowance

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
Multitask by creating a video of you wanking to Reddit.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
I think he should outsource his wanking/reddit activity.
Maybe to the people in mcbeef's warehouse.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:51, Reply)
that could work, they are deffo wankers

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:18, Reply)
I should bill you and grrry for this valuable management consultancy work.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:52, Reply)
Wanks, capitalism

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:55, Reply)
who's the target audience?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
Reshuffle your cabinet, M8

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:45, Reply)
Old h Moser are at it again, this time taking pop shots at large Swiss watch brands, it's very amusing
www.hodinkee.com/articles/h-moser-swiss-icons-watch-introducing
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:09, Reply)

h V
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
+o

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 13:17, Reply)
I am Rachel Khoo AMA!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:31, Reply)
Who are you?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:31, Reply)
I am you and you am I

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:34, Reply)
why are your tits so big?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
I play with them too much lol

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:38, Reply)
Banned poster Dozer y/n

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:36, Reply)
n

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:38, Reply)
just got a job offer to go work in japan so that's alright

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
nice one

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:36, Reply)
with a lightning tail buttplug and some fake ears you could impersonate Pikachu
you jaundiced chubby cunt.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)
soz, dunno where that came from

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:43, Reply)
who showed you my private messages

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:43, Reply)
it was shambles
that's why we have to click on pictures to log in
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:51, Reply)
dunno that sort of thing might make a person a bit anxious

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:49, Reply)
3 out 5 streetlights up and running.
Decided gary was an idiot and I've just changed all the gear inside as the spares were on the shelf and we don't use them anywhere else.

Otherwise a pretty dull day so far. Might have a long lunch and go up town for some new boots.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:36, Reply)

t b

lol
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)
Lunchy boob job

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:38, Reply)
Fast Eddie is brown

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:44, Reply)
I've listened to smoko far too many times already today

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:45, Reply)
It is excellent

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:50, Reply)
you might also like Watain's new album
whenever you're in a black metal mood.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 11:54, Reply)
although I can't look at their name without adding 'nks'

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 12:06, Reply)
not listened to any of these yet, but he's a friend whose opinions I trust:
fuckyouneilkulkarni.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/the-funk-2017-end-of-year-lists-part-1.html
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 12:08, Reply)
I listened to that Elder album yesterday, and it's much better than your usual stoner doom
bit of a shame Oranssi pazuzu aren't on that list though.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 12:13, Reply)
Proper morning thtrad

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:11, Reply)

You fucking ginger fucking cunt.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:25, Reply)

SEAL OF APPROVAL
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:36, Reply)
Good morning

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:42, Reply)
I sent the tank bloke a message, if you know what I mean

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
Cheers mate.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
Good day, sir.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:45, Reply)
Alright stunner.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:45, Reply)
Yer.
Too much work tho.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:49, Reply)
Shit yourself

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:56, Reply)
So true.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:08, Reply)
Are we threadstomping people who aren't banned poster Dozer now?
Or is that, in fact, banned poster Dozer?

Anyway: good moaning.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:17, Reply)
That

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:37, Reply)
gunt

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:27, Reply)
gut+cunt=gunt
Maybe yours will catch on.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:29, Reply)
+ corners of furniture and door handles

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:33, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
Gay cunt

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:37, Reply)
keeping the old thtraditions alive

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:51, Reply)
I wish they'd just shut this site down.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:04, Reply)
what do you mean? it's just starting to get good

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
I'm only sticking around because I want to know how it ends

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:50, Reply)
I bet it turns out that the jews did it

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:04, Reply)
No spoilers pls

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:06, Reply)
good morning

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)
I'm working on street lights today.
I don't really like being in the cherry picker, I'm a bit of a wuss, but I can't let the apprentice know that. Shows weakness.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
they'll use it against you
you have to be alpha in these situations
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
It's the only lights you know , oh street lights

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:08, Reply)
Gary just said "if it's not the lightbulb, just fuck it off and we'll get new ones."
Seems a bit wasteful.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
Yeah , have they go external igniters? They normally go first , assuming they are son's

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:22, Reply)
Yeah. We've got spare igniters and all photocells,
Wouldn't be a job once we're up here.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:24, Reply)
Whoa. Don't fall out of that fragile, flimsy cherry picker!!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:27, Reply)
Looks like there's a gale on the way

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:41, Reply)
^ The Guffing Forecast

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:42, Reply)
wear a kilt

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
Try not to get electrocuted.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)

gfycat.com/DimJampackedAmoeba
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
Oh noes! The electricity is leaking!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:30, Reply)
hi

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
Yes, I would

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
ok, well that's a start

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:26, Reply)
Morn'

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
Jeff

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Severn.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Loletion

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
Not having paedo nonsense in my thread.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Let the record show that banned poster "dozer" likes petite women half his age, and that he is 24

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:13, Reply)
Any older and/or bigger than that and they have the physical strength to fight off his advances.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)
In the court of public opinion I am guilty as charged.
Rachel Khoo y/n
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:50, Reply)
y

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:00, Reply)
You know she wouldn't, right?

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:21, Reply)
Improper reply.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Fu

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Manchu

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:17, Reply)
Good mornihg

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
Wyllieh

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
altrght

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
^Very fine person

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
Fake news

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:24, Reply)
I bet you 11p this day's gonna be grrrreat!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:32, Reply)
doesn't even buy you a freddo or a chomp any more
dunno what snacks you can get for 10p nowadays.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:38, Reply)
5 penny sweets

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:41, Reply)
motherfuckers

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:52, Reply)
sad toimes, good memoiries

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:16, Reply)
They better catch this fucking monster before I do, m8
He comes near my kids, I swear I'll do time

www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/regional-police-hunt-unauthorised-metal-detectorist-1-8324044
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 9:50, Reply)
Looks Eastern European , brexit now 11!!!1!

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:00, Reply)
This the big news round here
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15819384.Roast_dinner_wraps_are_being_sold_in_Bexleyheath_and_you_can_get_yours_now/
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:17, Reply)
There's a place round here that sells Roast in a Pot
six quid a fucking go. I'm in the wrong business, I'm telling you.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
Street food is supposed to be cheap, but it's as expensive as eating in somewhere

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:21, Reply)
£3.50 for a scotch egg at the market by my old flat

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:24, Reply)
What, Pot Roast?
Hardly revolutionary.
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:30, Reply)
I'm pretty sure 'detectorist' is not a word.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:01, Reply)

en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/detectorist
(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:05, Reply)
I slouch corrected.

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:06, Reply)
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(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:04, Reply)
woah

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 10:06, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:07, Reply)
Good glorious morning

(, Thu 11 Jan 2018, 7:06, Reply)
Evening.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 20:02, Reply)
Yer, just walking home from the pub, damp out tonight

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 20:08, Reply)
I've just for the first time in my 44 years just won on the premium bonds , 25 quid , I think I've only got about 20 quids worth from when I was a kid , lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 20:19, Reply)
Did you spend it all in the pub?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 20:24, Reply)
Nah I only just opened the letter, looked like junk mail

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 20:26, Reply)
Nice.
Think my mum got £800 off hers, a few years back.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 21:07, Reply)
I don't even know how it works anymore

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 22:00, Reply)
Didn't they used to have a big machine with a friendly name?
Probably an iPhone app, these days.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 23:15, Reply)
Ernie was the machine, I remember that, but that couldn't crunch the millions now

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 23:51, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 22:15, Reply)
Hello MGT

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 22:19, Reply)
That thread was whack.
Will this thread be most non-heinous? Unlikely, because you're all pricks.

How is your day going? I just bought a back protector to protect my back. Isn't that cool. I also got cold.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:09, Reply)
DOO strikes.
Nuff said.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:12, Reply)
Get a motorbike, whizz around
I learned today that blowing bubblegum bubbles in your helmet might get you killed. Who knew?
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:14, Reply)
wish someone would blow bubbles in my helmet

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:19, Reply)
I put your reply under the wrong bit.
Have a look. It's about $$.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:27, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:29, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:34, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 18:29, Reply)
risky bidness in London.
Especially if you are a noob.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:20, Reply)
I was talking to a chap today that rides in London and has been hit 4 times.
No thanks.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
I tried cycling for a week about 6 years ago.
Scared the bejesus out of me.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:26, Reply)
Do they make bicycles for people as tall as you?
You must have looked like a circus giraffe riding a little toy bike.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:27, Reply)

static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/article_small/public/thumbnails/image/2016/10/27/11/screen-shot-2016-10-27-at-09.51.37.jpg
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:18, Reply)
$$ will be along in a minute I'm sure.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
i sneezed inside my bike helmet once and got loads of snot on the chin bar
i couldn't clean it up until i stopped
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:29, Reply)
lol helmet

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:53, Reply)
What does your back need protecting from?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:13, Reply)
Damage.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:13, Reply)
Uh!
Damage! Uh!
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:22, Reply)
Destruction terror and mayhem

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:24, Reply)
:)
*bombs town*
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:18, Reply)
bummings lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:19, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:30, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:21, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 19:54, Reply)
poon

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:15, Reply)
this reads like it was passed through google translate

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:16, Reply)
now it does
u i tiu fadeno estos plej malmola? Neprobabla, ar vi estas iuj prikoj.

Kiel iras via tago? Mi nur aetis dorson protektanton por protekti mian dorson. Ne estas tiel malvarmeta. Mi anka malvarme.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:18, Reply)
let's pass this back and forth a few times, see where we get
Will this thread be harder? Unlikely, as you are some pricks.

How is your day going? I just threw back a protector to protect my back. It's not so cool. I'm cold too.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:23, Reply)
here it is passed through italian. notably the insult has changed to asshole here. not sure what this says about the italian character
Will this thread be harder? Unlikely, as if you were some asshole.

How is your day going? I just pulled back a protector to protect my back. It is not so beautiful. I'm cold too.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
and here it is through serbian. they've gone for jerk instead of asshole
Will this thread be more difficult? It's unlikely, like you were a jerk.

How is your day going? I just pulled the patron to protect my back. It's not very nice. I'm cold too.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:26, Reply)
and finally, here it is passed through korean. what a journey
Is this thread more difficult? You will not act like an idiot.

What happens today? I just chose a patron to protect the rear. Not very good. I'm too cold.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:27, Reply)
Lol. Rear protection patron.
Like a bumguard
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:28, Reply)
It says all it needs to about those bum loving, shirt lifting, Willy touching, italian queers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:26, Reply)
what you get up to on your summer holidays is up to you

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:40, Reply)
switch language
Sal hierdie draad die meeste nie-gruwel wees? Onwaarskynlik, want jy is almal pricks.

Hoe is jou dag sover? Ek het net 'n rugbeskermer gekoop om my rug te beskerm. Is dit nie cool nie. Ek het ook koud geword.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:25, Reply)
I just want to sleep all the time
Do you think I'm dying? I might be dying.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:18, Reply)
*crosses fingers*

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:19, Reply)


(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:24, Reply)
no, manically depressed

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:19, Reply)
Obesity

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:21, Reply)
Probably because you're a lazy fat sack of shit.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:28, Reply)
Right, I'm putting you on 2.0 for this

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:35, Reply)
Soz

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:36, Reply)
Come on, use proper medical terms

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:44, Reply)
I just wanted to clarify what you said in layman's terms in case the fat has slowed his brain down too.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:46, Reply)
I believe his cranial fluid is mostly gravy now

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:48, Reply)
They're not tumours, they're dumplings

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:52, Reply)
Probably need to sleep.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:31, Reply)
In a sense we all are
*sticks on goth music
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:37, Reply)
what sort of goth?
like Bauhaus? Or dreckstuck by Centhron?
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 18:31, Reply)
DIAGNOSIS: Obstructive sleep apnoea secondary to morbid obesity.
You're welcome
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:43, Reply)
I can recommend a good consultant respiratory & sleep physician
he'd have to travel to Birmingham though
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:00, Reply)
and I guess that wouldn't help with his morbid obesity

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:01, Reply)
He could jog there ...oh hahaha

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:11, Reply)
we're all dying, buddy

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 19:56, Reply)
My day's been full of timewasting and getting jerked around.
The peasants at the hospital put the wrong date on the form so I have to go back tomorrow now, and have had to reschedule my job interview in the process.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:30, Reply)
Sometimes life can seem like a struggle and everyone is trying to slow you down,
But remember the universe is always watching, it has a plan, and you are special. The future is yours.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:35, Reply)
Lol.
You sound like one of those guided meditation videos.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:38, Reply)
People cope in their own ways, never mock another, never judge another, recognise their struggle as one say you may need them to recognise yours.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:39, Reply)
^ Dalai 50p Hama

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:44, Reply)

the universe is always watching, it has a plan, and you are special. The future is yours you can always go, downtown!
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:50, Reply)
my new headphones are nice
but i've eaten all the chocolate baubles
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:30, Reply)
Life is full of ups and downs.
Treat the ups as great victories and cherish them, treat the downs as lessons and use them to push you back up.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:36, Reply)
i've remembered the christmas cake in the tin
so it's all good
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:42, Reply)
I'm having a terrible day
And I want to kill people.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:34, Reply)
When life gets really tough, grit your teeth and fight through,
Know that it will get easier and you will be stronger then ever before.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:38, Reply)
Buy a wood chipper and drag the bodies deep into the forest
Gotcha
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:56, Reply)
Hi hun xx
Typical mid week mundanity.
Plodding along nicely now.

Looking at buying a property again at some point this year.
North Manchester this time, and more time to make an informed decision.
The rent where we are is really high and we're just pissing money.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:47, Reply)
Why not buy a house somewhere nice.
Like the South.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:53, Reply)
NO WAI!
Im Norf til I die.

Or retire by the sea
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 15:56, Reply)
Ha, as if you're going to be able to afford to retire.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:03, Reply)
Ive got a pension, thank you, as well as the state one.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:06, Reply)
How much is in it and what funds do you invest in?
Hopefully you haven't just gone for 100% in the default balanced fund.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:09, Reply)
like a moth to a flame!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:14, Reply)
why isn't there a downvote button :(

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:21, Reply)
I just had some spinach and I'm listening to the Average White Band and their great song Love Your Life

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:07, Reply)
I was just *that* close to ending an email 'get well coon' to a customer

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:24, Reply)
You'd fit in well at UKIP head office

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:38, Reply)
Why, are they shit at typing too?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 16:45, Reply)
He's calling you a prick mate. I wouldn't stand for it.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 17:21, Reply)
bottom get

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 20:00, Reply)
I like it when there's a fresh new thread
what fresh new thing do you like?
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:42, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6SBSob-B_E
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:45, Reply)

youtu.be/S_Pmp8VtJwI
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:47, Reply)
Whitey like!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:52, Reply)
Tits

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:50, Reply)
poo

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:50, Reply)
Tears

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:51, Reply)
Rounds of industrial action.
ANOTHER DAY OF DOO DOO STRIKES!
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:53, Reply)
The humour of popular publication 'The Viz'

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:02, Reply)
Listen to this.
m.mixcloud.com/worldwidefm/minou-08-01-18/
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:26, Reply)
The chats EP

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:09, Reply)
this is both new AND fresh

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:11, Reply)
I'm on smoko

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:11, Reply)
mum stole my darts

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:13, Reply)
I prefer the comfortably familiar.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:15, Reply)
I get the feeling you smell of bovril and mothballs

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:17, Reply)
A new pair of slippers is always a treat!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:19, Reply)
And a nice cup of tea.
And a sit down.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:30, Reply)
*article about biscuits*

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:41, Reply)
you know

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:24, Reply)
pervert

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:28, Reply)
anything goes these days, m8

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:29, Reply)
I can see

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:32, Reply)
More wanking needed

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:23, Reply)
Eclipse jacket, Sweater Shop jumper and Benetton jeans

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 13:47, Reply)
There's a plastic man in a sports car and he knows that he knows it all

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:04, Reply)
and he's buying a stairway to heaven

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
best thing Rolf Harris ever wrote

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
Other than "Two Small Boys", obv

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:19, Reply)
well yeah

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:25, Reply)
"Nick Teen & Al K Hall" was pretty good.
Bet it's an uncomfortable listen, these days.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:48, Reply)
Indeed it was
We always liked 'Pavlova' and 'Big Dog' too
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:50, Reply)
come on Barbie, let's go party!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:16, Reply)
Princes
Breath
Beats
Air
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:33, Reply)
348 days until christmas

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:47, Reply)
I'm ready

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:52, Reply)
You can never be TOO prepared

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:54, Reply)
I'm already wearing my reindeer antlers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:54, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 14:55, Reply)
alright wankers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:32, Reply)
I've been given a budget to buy a load of skill-improvement books
but I don't know what topics I ought to boost. Suggestions?
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
Dummies guide to music

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
social skills and personal hygiene?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:37, Reply)
but I stopped carrying used tampons in my pockets yonks ago

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:10, Reply)
alright bob

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:11, Reply)
I wonder if she's decided what gender she is yet

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:20, Reply)

books.google.co.uk/books/about/A_Guide_to_Symphonic_Metal_Music_Includi.html?id=9ls_XwAACAAJ&redir_esc=y
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:41, Reply)
is it alright if I just borrow your copy and I wipe my arse with it m8?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:45, Reply)
no problem m8

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:00, Reply)
50 Ways to a Better You for Dummies (Pocket Edition) Paperback – 2010

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:42, Reply)
all the harry potters

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:45, Reply)

amzn.eu/8yZ1fjJ
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:47, Reply)
you must be the author

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
Be the first to review this book.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:56, Reply)
How to cure cancer

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
I already know more about that than I really want to

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:50, Reply)
Watch repairs for beginners

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:54, Reply)
I like the old soviet watches, but they'll never be worth anything
allegro.pl/zim-zegarek-meski-cccp-i7124298111.html
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:02, Reply)
the country always needs new horse shoers

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:27, Reply)
it's mcbeef you want to speak to about horse or shoe

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
A farrier can make quite a bit
they mainly do cash in hand as well
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:35, Reply)
I thought they mainly did shoe on hoof?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)
SHOE ON HOOF

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:57, Reply)
Sharpie in pooper?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:57, Reply)
alright beefybollocks

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:35, Reply)
um, i'm an EXCELLENT wanker actually, i'll have you know

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:36, Reply)
Speak for yourself
I'm a tosser
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:39, Reply)

I've been trying to officelol silently and discreetly at this bit of massive drugs japery.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:41, Reply)
reading that gives me the fear tbh

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:46, Reply)
I'm going to hazard a guess here
and put that down to the fact that you've been that stoned in company whereas I haven't.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:47, Reply)
Hahaha. I have only I was tripping and everyone took all of about 4 minutes to figure it out.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:04, Reply)
I don't like being drunk in front of other people, even
I'm terrified of saying or doing something stupid.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:54, Reply)
probably best if you avoid other people sober too

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:57, Reply)
oh, I try to, m8

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:59, Reply)
fucking lightweight

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
i'm not reading all that shit
i barely even made it through your post
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:10, Reply)
^ Trump-like attention span

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
lol trump

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:13, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 12:28, Reply)
THC notwithstanding, I've never opened a packet of biscuits and just eaten one.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:16, Reply)
You make a good point.
They'd have to be exceptionally disgusting biscuits.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:19, Reply)
I take it from that article that he was only supposed to eat half a cookie?
That boggles my mind.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:23, Reply)
I imagine they sell ordinary biscuits in Denver, Colerado too

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:26, Reply)
Half a biscuit, tangles!
Why would anyone eat half a biscuit? Is that something that stoners do, eat half a biscuit? 'Cos the stereotype suggests otherwise! I know it's polite to pass a joint around, but if someone started eating a biscuit, stopped halfway and offered it to you, would you want it?
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:37, Reply)
^ upset

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:38, Reply)
i'm almost tempted to read the fucking thing now in order to figure out in which way you've failed to grasp the concept
almost
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:41, Reply)
Dope cookie carries warning to only eat half in one sitting
Man eats 3 cookies, has unpleasant experience.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:44, Reply)
shits in his own face I bet

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:47, Reply)
apparently he had an unnerving piss, drank some water and got glared at by his wife
as drugged-out stories go, it's up there with Hunter S Thompson's finest.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:49, Reply)
He ate some bread, too.
That's foooooooood, that is.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:57, Reply)
I've failed to grasp the concept of eating half a biscuit.
I understand biscuits, weed not so much, I suppose.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:53, Reply)
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:48, Reply)
How many fortune cookies do you have left?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
fartpoon cockwees, more like

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:42, Reply)
perfect

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 11:44, Reply)
Shia McBoef

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:49, Reply)
I have a white hair in my beard that is longer than u r peanus
alt: RIP Jerry Van Dyke
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:48, Reply)
nevermind this thread

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:49, Reply)
the original JVD

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:51, Reply)
*googles*


*shrugs*
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:52, Reply)

shr t
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:53, Reply)
^

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
Another one for the archive
imgur.com/gallery/SsMHJ
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
christ almighty

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:01, Reply)
yup

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:03, Reply)
jesus how shit

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:01, Reply)
I'm not sure who's finding these things funny
I just don't get it
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:03, Reply)
some dweeb on facebook going "hahaha so true!"

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
Oh, are they supposed to be funny?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
I assume so
Oh, maybe I've misunderstood.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
I expect there's a horde of mopey teenage/early 20s girls out there
with deviantart accounts and a half-used pack of posh pencils reading these comics in their university dormrooms and wishing they were as creative.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
I would pay good money for a hardback collection of these.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:11, Reply)
don't say that, m8

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
I just wanted to get you something nice for your birthday.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
box of milk tray and a tug
that's all I want
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
You'll make do with a box of Ferrero Rocher and a peck on the cheek, as always.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:28, Reply)
I'll take that

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:32, Reply)

'll was the fat one in
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:55, Reply)
I'll relight YOUR fire in a minute, m8

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:02, Reply)

back collection of these cock up my guffpipe
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
you tragic spastic

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
good name for a pub

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
"off out?"
"Yer, me and bill are going up the spastic for a few rounds."
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
christ, imagine the sign

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)

imgur.com/a/GDmpJ
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:42, Reply)
oh my

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:44, Reply)
Vg

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:04, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:24, Reply)
'load 25 more images'
no thank you
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:53, Reply)
ban him

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:57, Reply)
+ machine, ban them all

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:02, Reply)
RIP Doc Cottle

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:54, Reply)
when will the madness of 2018 end?!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
I don't care,
as long as the grim reaper finally takes Brian fucking Blessed.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:00, Reply)
woah, why?
What as he ever done to you?
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:00, Reply)
Ruined everything he ever appeared in since about 1980.
I'm not actually that bothered about him, I just can't watch him in anything, the shouty prick.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:05, Reply)
Then can I recommend that you just don't watch things that he's in?
Rather than wishing death on the man
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:08, Reply)
OK, I'll try that.
Thanks for the tip!
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
repeatedly and systematically raped Hedgehog from Hell over the course of 14 years

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
No, turns out he just doesn't like his tv shows

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
"DIVE!!!"

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:00, Reply)
off the Eastenders?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:00, Reply)
Haha, imagine if Dot Cotton was the doctor in Battletrek Wars!
That gives me a great idea for an image for the front page, brb
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:03, Reply)
MORNING THREAD HAS CLOSED

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:55, Reply)
thanks for making it official, Mr. Grrr

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:52, Reply)
I missed it

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:58, Reply)
Didn't know who that was until I googled him. That took me to the wikipedia page for "My Mother the Car". Stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
there are no mirrors in your house?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
Arf

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
I've got several
My beard is all the colours of the bow, man
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:56, Reply)
that's rad

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:53, Reply)
I can't grow a beard
it just comes out as patchy fluff
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:57, Reply)
+ And I am joining ZZTop

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:06, Reply)
At work, I get called ZZ Top, Seasick Steve, Jim 'The Anvil' Neidhart
to name but 3
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
"No, I said 'he makes me sick', Steve"

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
In fact, I rarely get called by my actual name
More than half of the people I speak to are not british, and they assume my surname is my first name. Man, I'm almost completely anonymous.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:15, Reply)
Alright, Boutros.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:25, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:27, Reply)
It must be a bit comforting that you climb inside your giant arsehole
And listen to your crying echo around the cavernous structure
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:48, Reply)
those are just the ones they say to your face

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:14, Reply)
oh, I know

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:20, Reply)
wow, you work with people who know neidhart?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:04, Reply)
Yeah!
He was well impressed by the hacksaw video
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:07, Reply)
ha, nice

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:23, Reply)
The only beard around here is the one you married.
Your obsession with peanuses betrays you.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:09, Reply)
I just type what you want to read. I know how to work the system against itself.
#psychologymatters
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:56, Reply)
Oh. Ok

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
hey

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:12, Reply)
Moved yet?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:16, Reply)
No, but it's imminent
We're hoping to hold them off until the friday before half-term, but we'll see. The people buying from us have young kids too, so they'll probably be alright with it.
I'm well excited, m8.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
shit your pants, mate

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
consider it done

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:18, Reply)
I'm excited too

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:56, Reply)
new lawns to shit on innit

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:00, Reply)
I'm gonna save some up

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:04, Reply)
You wouldn't believe the size of this fucking lawn
It's more than twice the size of my current one
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)
You'll be able to shit there every day, and never shit in the same place twice

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:10, Reply)
No chance of that for me
I've had four shits today already and they fucken honk like the dead
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:23, Reply)
K

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:39, Reply)
^ potassium shill

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:56, Reply)
Well my birthday is on the 19th, which is my birthday

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:08, Reply)
I keep my beard neatly trimmed why are we talking about this?
alt: oh man I loved Mary Poppins
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:58, Reply)
My kids have requested that I grow mine back.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:02, Reply)
I shaved mine off for charidee
and every time Mrs Hats looked at me, her eyes looked towards my chin, and she smirked. I've never felt so self-conscious in my life.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:12, Reply)
OK, she's slipped in my estimation, now.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:14, Reply)
You've probably got a weird bum chin

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:19, Reply)
I do have a pronounced cleft, I won't lie

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:27, Reply)
they just want to see fewer of your face

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:23, Reply)
mine is wild and unkempt at the moment

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:22, Reply)
like your heart
*swoons*
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:28, Reply)
don't try to tame me, baby

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 10:37, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:25, Reply)
Alright mate.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:31, Reply)
brass monkeys here
my penus looks like a cashew
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:36, Reply)
Well, mine looks like a Brazil nut on a normal day, so I don't know what you're bragging about.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:38, Reply)
Alright Gary

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:35, Reply)
have you got some sort of Jonathan Woss speech impediment?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:36, Reply)
I do as a matter of fact, this is deeply hurtful bullying.
STOP GRRMACHINE STOP
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:14, Reply)
I was only asking, geez, no need to go all Weinstein-victim on me

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:28, Reply)
Have you gone to work on an egg?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:10, Reply)
The bus seat I sat on probably had period blood stains, if that counts

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:22, Reply)
Great Exsanguinations

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:28, Reply)
improved

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:32, Reply)
Bruh

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:32, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:13, Reply)
that's what I said

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:23, Reply)
Poles say "Day Good" whereas the czechs over the mountains say "Good Day" (dobry den)
what a crazy world, eh folks.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:31, Reply)
WOW!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:39, Reply)
haha WHAT??? That's MENTAL!

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:51, Reply)
morgen

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:17, Reply)
dzien dobry

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:23, Reply)
^polish house elf

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:36, Reply)
Dobbyslaw

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:39, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:19, Reply)
yer you?

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:23, Reply)
yer

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 9:10, Reply)
Man, I love bureaucracy.
Supposed to have a follow-up appointment with the surgeon this afternoon, except I got a text message yesterday 'reminding' me of my appointment on the 11th. Called the hospital this morning, who said "Oh no, we don't deal with that; you have to call the hospital to which the doctor is attached administratively. Even though he practices here."

Called the other hospital in question. "Ooh...um...dunno anything about that. We don't deal with that sort of thing."
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:38, Reply)
Just turn up today and demand to see someone otherwise you'll do a shit on the reception desk.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:40, Reply)
I am just going to turn up, maybe demand to have some booze.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:41, Reply)
cut off your arm and post it to the surgeon via recorded delivery

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:40, Reply)
Alright, Aron Ralston.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:42, Reply)
There's a danger he won't get the same one back if the organisation is that bad.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:44, Reply)
maybe he'll get a lady's hand

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:45, Reply)
If I want a posh wank, I'll just paint my nails, dear.

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:46, Reply)
alright
it's been a while so i thought i'd just check in, let you know how i've been doing as i did vanish a while back

- i have a degree now, which means father finally allows me to wear trousers and not shorts
- also i had an anxiety disorder the whole time i was posting here. could you tell? if so, congratulations! send a stamped addressed envelope to P.O. Box 50001 to get a prize
- i have it a bit more under control now and am trying to be a bit more open with people about what's going on with me
- i'm applying to go work in japan for at least a year
- i'm struggling with a new personal mystery, which i don't feel comfortable talking about right now. i'm aware that this contradicts point 3. it also has complicated point 4 and provides an explanation to point 2. answers to the riddle will be posted on ceefax next week

anyway how are you? have you heard about this daft punk? i'm tipping them to be the next big musical act
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 1:42, Reply)
i'd also like to point out this country's gone right down the shitter ever since i stopped posting on here

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 1:52, Reply)
i also got three fillings and my cat died
unrelated incidents
(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 2:11, Reply)
Weeaboo

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:20, Reply)
UNSUBSCRIBE

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 7:25, Reply)
alright lightguy

(, Wed 10 Jan 2018, 8:16, Reply)
Alright dribble

(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 22:10, Reply)
$$

(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 22:25, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 22:26, Reply)
Put it in you're diary's
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/25551
(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 22:43, Reply)
RIP Cockweasle

(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 22:58, Reply)
:'(

(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 23:01, Reply)
this is the saddest thing I have seen so far at 00:10, 10.01.18

(, Tue 9 Jan 2018, 23:10, Reply)

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