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Just remembered my password.
Fuck off.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:39, Reply)
Dunno who you are, soz

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:44, Reply)
Better than Dozer.
Is that sufficient?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Not sure you alt-doz are better than the ban-doz to be honest , certainly better than them is objective, but what do I know eh

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:11, Reply)
Riddick just starting on film 4, never made a bad film eva

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:05, Reply)
Alright jeff

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:51, Reply)
Aye.
You? If you are the real
Dozer.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Yeah it's me you Savile wanker

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:19, Reply)
Well done

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Thanks. I like online validation.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:54, Reply)
Hi

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:59, Reply)
I might have a small rum.
What do you think?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:00, Reply)
Why small?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:06, Reply)
Because I only have pint glasses
And any measure deemed large in such a drinking vessel might be deemed excessive.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:09, Reply)
Drink it by the swallow then

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:12, Reply)
Finish the bottle, it's the only solution
it'll only go flat if you open it and leave it
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:31, Reply)
That's why people buy it in tins now

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:37, Reply)
Fuck a dog

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:46, Reply)
He might fuck a small horse

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:00, Reply)
Just done my third shit. Arse hurts.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:03, Reply)
What, ever?
That's bloody good going
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:08, Reply)
Today.
If I go more than about a day without a barry I get a bit perturbed.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:23, Reply)
1 or 5?
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=barry
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 22:38, Reply)
Flebthread

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:27, Reply)
i read that as flatbread at first
now i know it's flebthread i don't think i now how to contribute

alt - sympathy reply
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:15, Reply)
Is that anything like phlebotomy?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Tools down, sod off dahn the pub.
I've got naff-all to do today and it's raining like a pissing cow, as the French say. How goes it, fellow flebeians?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:19, Reply)
Have you got poor old cadders on ignore?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Not at all, it was an unintentional threadstomp caused by posting at exactly the same time as him.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
It's alright, he was always a complete bellend anyway.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:27, Reply)
Thank you sir, may I have another?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
nah

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:24, Reply)
just got a hole in one, good times

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
IBYD, YDOB

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:28, Reply)
now i'm in the rough, ffs

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:29, Reply)
That's Portuguese birds for you.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:32, Reply)
it's a play off for the 6000 coins..

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
i lost, fuck you golf clash :(

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
and none of you told me about this because....
www.flamefest.co.uk/
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:03, Reply)
Helena Von Kuntz didn't want you there, soz

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:27, Reply)
she needs to grow up

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:28, Reply)
D'ya know what?
I am contemplating going for a poo
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:26, Reply)
Deep, man.
Deep.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:28, Reply)
If it's like the one from earlier it will be explosive, shallow
and quickly expressed.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:29, Reply)
The emvee of poos.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
poo shit wee wee

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:27, Reply)
bum pissy-wissy

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:37, Reply)
listen to the boys with the shrivelled little willies

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 20:40, Reply)
bit sticky

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
Yeah, not bad. Just got my 19th Front Page, one more and I can leave here forever

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
I'm clicking every single one of your posts m8

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Called home for an emergency
Now working from the sofa. Turned out reet nice.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
Did you program your sofa this morning to call you this afternoon?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:40, Reply)
I got a distress signal from it
Came through on the sofa emergency hotline
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:50, Reply)
"I'm king low!"

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
Still very warm here
Just cleaned the kitchen, which was a bad idea. Now everything else looks dirty.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:48, Reply)
The solution is to cook something messy involving as many pans as possible, so your kitchen will match the rest again.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:52, Reply)
shit on the floor

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:54, Reply)
+ get schwifty

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:20, Reply)
can't decide if I want to go to a six hour+ gig on sunday

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:38, Reply)
oh
what a terrible dilemma
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:41, Reply)
six hours outside m8
and one of the bands is Opeth. I'll be surrounded by blade-studiers.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:46, Reply)
don't go then

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
but I like those bands
and I won't get the chance to see them again for ages
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:06, Reply)
It's not even proper music, just noise, there

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:27, Reply)
soz, I like the music
at least 4 of the 5 bands playing, might just come later and see the main acts.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:58, Reply)
Would there be a Nazi contingent there?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:04, Reply)
Almost certainly.
Loads of proper unpleasant racists in metal.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:21, Reply)
Oh I know, I just wondered if it would be very blatant in poland, they talk about them in usa, but there's millions in former ussr places

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:40, Reply)
Recruiter woes.
One phoned me yesterday for a job in embra. Sounded decent but in python rather than java, I wanted to learn that anyway.

He tried to organise a phone interview but I said I was on holiday, when he asked I told him it was in Edinburgh, he was eager to put me in for an interview. Told him I was camping so I'd be a scruff, said it was fine. Said he'd email the details, heard fuck all. Said alright, prepared not to get smashed today.

Hear fuck all, finally get through to him - yeah they're not that interested but I hoped to talk them round.

I'm not surprised, I was basically asking their top line to code in a language I don't know, I'd not employ me. Would've been nice to tell me rather than leave me wondering if I've got an interview on undisclosed Edinburgh tomorrow though.

I'm going to rejoin my plan to get smashed, the one I had before he phoned yesterday.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:43, Reply)
hate using recruitment agencies
I try and go direct where possible
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
I just wanged my CV up on monster and let them do the work.
I should probably look for myself.

One recruiter has been really good and supportive, but they've got loads of really corporate jobs for banks, sounds a bit too serious.

I've spent the last 8 years in a big firm and want to work for a smaller more human outfit. Considering contracting.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:48, Reply)
you will get loads of time wasters calling you up now

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:50, Reply)
Yeah regretting not redacting my phone number.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:52, Reply)
lol wang

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:40, Reply)
Recruiters would sell your kidneys if the going rate was good
None of em are trustworthy
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:53, Reply)
Oh I don't trust them.
But if one might get me an interview, I still think it prudent to not get cunted the day before until I have it confirmed it's not happening.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:56, Reply)
Not too bad thanks Lindup old boy
Out for Vietnamese tonight
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:43, Reply)
Only fuck the ones that cough, oh ahaha

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:45, Reply)
eh?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:47, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
I dinnae get it, mon

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:19, Reply)
Me either
I just thought it sounded funny
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 19:54, Reply)
Full metal jacket, innit.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 21:46, Reply)
?
i.imgur.com/Vscdbv7.jpg
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:49, Reply)
FRAVORTOWN!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 16:50, Reply)
Alright Kebab of the End Times
I'm off to watch that Annabelle film.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:19, Reply)
wow, it's all kicking off in Spain right now

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:22, Reply)
yeah not good

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 17:41, Reply)
Can't blame ETA for this one

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 18:05, Reply)
Thank fuck for brexit

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 19:28, Reply)
I hate and fear Track & Field events
Am I racist?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:19, Reply)
Yes

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Yup

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:30, Reply)
That's enough looking back at the good old days.
How are we going to bring b3ta talk up to date and keep it relevant in this future we now live in?
Maybe a Snapchat share page?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:30, Reply)
You have to post the Instagram pic of your most recent unicorn latte to create an account.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:32, Reply)
hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:34, Reply)
...on many sides

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:39, Reply)
LIKE A DODECOHATERON

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:26, Reply)
^dodecahomoron

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
homo AND moron. well played

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:17, Reply)
A complete unknownateron

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:21, Reply)
I've said nothing of substance but I'm going to pretend it's well profound by dejectedly repeating the last few words ... the last few words

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:44, Reply)
wanking

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:36, Reply)
Sex robots for everyone
Failing that, less good sex robots
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:37, Reply)
You mean robots that do less good sex?
or fewer robots that do the good sex?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Whatever is in the project budget range

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:43, Reply)
I definitely think we should have some webinars.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)

w fl
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:42, Reply)
^Innovention

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:10, Reply)
I imagine dog ears and a floppy tongue on every user name

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
ibyd, ydob

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:26, Reply)
There's this really cool web forum called Voat, yeah?
See you there!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
cool!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:43, Reply)
Not going
Don't want to ruin the hollow echo it currently makes
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:44, Reply)
email alerts every time someone replies to one of your comments or comments on a thread you have replied to

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:56, Reply)
rip my inbox

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:58, Reply)
Can do!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:12, Reply)
greater gender and ethnic diversity
perhaps make a black or a girl top mod so that losers with too much time on their hands from all backgrounds have something to aspire to
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:58, Reply)
dish of the day

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:59, Reply)
B3ta gold.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:59, Reply)
a range of emojis to replace the I like this! button

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:59, Reply)

[wank] [guff] [nan] [helimit] [zzzz]
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:31, Reply)
Eek
forgot [poopo]
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:03, Reply)
league tables and a regulatory body, possibly called Ofb3t

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:01, Reply)
b3tamon
you can run around finding your favorite b3tans and throwing something soft/medium at them for points.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:01, Reply)
strict limits on the amount of replies you can post to a thread within a certain time frame

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Which can be increased for a nominal fee?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
a discord channel so that we can live chat on what people have just posted

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:02, Reply)
a celebrity version of the site

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:02, Reply)
Didn't Jeremy Corbyn used to be on here?
Ann Coulter's fanclub posts on /links
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:29, Reply)
Jonathon King used to post here.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:41, Reply)
I'm sure he's had that tattoo'd on a few young men's bums

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:02, Reply)
/links

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:05, Reply)
I get as much good sex as I want and I drive a fast car

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:10, Reply)
You're Tracey Chapman's boyfriend
AICMFP
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Is there a way to make it fewer shit maybe?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:11, Reply)
arrows

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:12, Reply)
say no more, fam

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Collectable icons , that you can battle with in b3ta gyms

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:12, Reply)
^super effective

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:14, Reply)
Cake?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:18, Reply)
I've suggested cash prizes in the past
and yet the mods do nothing
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:20, Reply)
Bloody mods

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:40, Reply)
And the rockers too
we saw fine people on many sides, the greased up ones on their motorbikes and the others on their mopeds with so many beautiful mirrors. So sad.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:01, Reply)
i'd have to win the first one just so there was some cash to give out

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:36, Reply)
not posting stupid shit threads that just generate loads of replies with no actual conversation

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:25, Reply)
^Upset

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
too bloody right I am

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
would you like to talk about this suggestion?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
only if you completely agree with me and don't challenge my worldview

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)
It's not up to me what happens in the replies

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:29, Reply)
take some responsibility for your actions

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:36, Reply)
naked breasts on page 3

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:26, Reply)
My set has been described as extremely rude, downright disgusting, in incredible bad taste but funny.
That's just fine by me. I mean, I can't knock it, it is pretty strong.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
Who said this?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:30, Reply)
Prince Charles

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:32, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:37, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post543641#answers-post-2629346
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:37, Reply)
is this worth me logging out for?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
Almost certainly not
Man brags (or lies) about his AMAAAYZING life, filled with sports cars, celebrities and beautiful women.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:50, Reply)
he was a prick, desperate to be liked on here, which was conflicting with how wonderful his life was

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:55, Reply)
i'm not 100% on this but i think he was the one that was supposed to be so tough irl that you'd better not say anything nasty or he might beat you up

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:31, Reply)
woah
so he's cool AND dangerous. And pretty old, by all accounts.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:32, Reply)
probably dead now

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:40, Reply)
lol
b3ta.com/talk/1877332
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:51, Reply)
So macho

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:05, Reply)
Are you a sentient badger?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:32, Reply)
i'm sure him and donkey gums will win edinburgh this year

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)
the greatest stand up of our generation

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:45, Reply)
poor pistonbroke

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:31, Reply)
more upset

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
we should all gang up on one person till they cry, that used to be fun

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:29, Reply)
this would be perfect if there was anyone left to do that to
the only ones left with any real potential to get upset are fucksocks, who everyone has on ignore, or yeti kebab, who is too quick to put others on ignore
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
nah, i think there is one, i'll gaz everyone except them of course

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:54, Reply)
Yeah I'm not missing out on much by him having me on 2.0
Who else is she ignoring?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:03, Reply)
safe spaces

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Like disabled parking spaces?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:32, Reply)
Like 'em?? I LOVE 'em!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
that's where you go cruising for tail, innit?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:25, Reply)
they're less likely to run away

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:26, Reply)
A weekly rundown of the top posts and threads
Presented by a prominent Youtuber
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:41, Reply)
Coming up in this vid we've got the TOP. FIVE. POSTS. made on beeta dot com slash talk this week
and I guarantee that you will be SHIT TING YOUR SELF by the end of this video. However, before we get down to it I want to thank all you lovely new subscribers who've been posting their comments on my other vids so CLICK HERE to check those vids out, and don't forget to SMASH THE SHIT out of the LIKE button on this vid. As always I read everything you write to me so leave your comments below and don't forget to subscribe. And now...

[insert pointless 45 second intro sequence with explosions and a THX-style BWAUM noise ]
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:44, Reply)
youtube has basically become the sunday chart review on local radio

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:46, Reply)
the current top 5 are mostly posts making fun of 2 can 'my wife is an elephant' chunder

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:32, Reply)
bring back [popular poster]
(s)he'll soon liven things up a bit
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:50, Reply)
I follow some former b3tans on twitter
and I can confirm that ^this will not 'liven things up'
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:52, Reply)
but the good old days, TH ... what about the good old days?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:55, Reply)
did you not read this morning's thread?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:57, Reply)
surely no one is reading any of this shite

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:58, Reply)
cor!
muff!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:52, Reply)
Go back in time, kidnap Shambles before he turned into a troll and bring him to the present day.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:55, Reply)
he was far too nice years ago, well in with all the fat chicks

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 13:57, Reply)
I bet he stole Badger's wife and all.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:02, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8096608
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:04, Reply)
Eh, I thought he was pretty funny at one stage.
Then he became a bellend, obviously.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:13, Reply)
he had his moments
then again, so did baldmonkey
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:17, Reply)
Bloody hell!!! I'm using Adobe Media Encoder
it's fucking awesome. I wish I knew what all these buttons do!

I feel like I did that time I was in the cockpit of a 777...
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:09, Reply)

a 777 Flight 11
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:12, Reply)
strike through in and pit of 777 and replace with on

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:14, Reply)
for you and mcbeef:
lanamacondo.tumblr.com/post/144719920453/frosted-tips
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:43, Reply)
I'm wanking

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:48, Reply)
i assumed

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
s'good innit
we use it a lot here in the edit suite
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:33, Reply)
The main difference I think
is that you'll know what all the gubbins does. I'm just relying on the settings that the previous person put together. Hurrah!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 14:42, Reply)
poo shit wee wee

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Dancing hamster gifs

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 15:16, Reply)
Lolotronolololocopter!!
OX1 checking in
Weather: clearing
Interest in work: 5%
Time until hometime: 5 hours 38 minutes
Laziness: 100%
Eating: toast
Greediness: 40%
Same shit different dayness: 100%

Report in please.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Workload: 160%
Horniness: unicorn
Chances of family name dying out in the next generation: 100%
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Who cares
We're all forgotten in three generations anyway
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
it's the news that my brother is also having a daughter
so that'll be the end of my Dad's dynasty. I think it might trigger a breakdown of some sort.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Well I hope he takes it well
because really, it doesn't matter
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
shut up chester bennington, you're supposed to be dead

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
I don't understand this joke
unless you actually think that's my name, and believe me to be dead
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:31, Reply)
Linkin Park innit
youtu.be/eVTXPUF4Oz4?t=54s
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:33, Reply)
Oh right
That was terrible
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
damn right

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:38, Reply)
I just asked Tangled if he had a nice holiday
Apart from that, I ain't reporting shit
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
did he?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:31, Reply)
Windy posted this thread before Tangled had a chance to respond
So naturally, I've reported this to the mods
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:32, Reply)
And still the mods do nothing.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
oh i'm doing something

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:42, Reply)
gross

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:55, Reply)
I might post a skink.
Mods are powerless
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:04, Reply)
Shots fired
www.californiaherps.com/lizards/images/esskiltonsisk.jpg
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Skink out with your tongue out
www.aboutanimals.com/images/Irian-jaya-blue-tongued-skink-820x375.jpg?d8bc0c
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:17, Reply)

www.vblcs.com/images/labels/2010/nsw/3.2.png
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:28, Reply)
I wonder if it's any good

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:29, Reply)
i liked it, SAB shut them down it seems in 2014

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
NSFW m8
that photo's a bit blue
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:17, Reply)
damn rebellious kids

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)
N12 checking in
Reasonably sunny
IDGAF
7h 35min
150%
nowt
nowt
willy
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:26, Reply)
#rude

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
#nude

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)
Nowt Nowt Willy sounds like a yorkshire remake of Strike It Lucky

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
It's the nullo anthem, sung to the tune of Ice Ice Baby

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:34, Reply)
you'd know

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
SHIT IT OUT

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)

willy let it all out, these are the willies we can do without
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:31, Reply)
And lo, I watched your ninja editing unfold before my very eyes.
Y3T1 checking in
Weather: a pretty unenthusiastic bluish sky
Interest in work: 13%
Time until hometime: 5 hours 35 minutes
Laziness: 85%
Eating: currently nothing, but I had an apple about half an hour ago
Greediness: 40%
Same shit different dayness: sorry, the meter appears to have melted on this one.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Lindup: 100%

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
Huuuuge tracts of land: 78%

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:31, Reply)
ehwhat?!
RED5 Standing By
Weather: bumholes
Interest in work: fair
Time until hometime: urgh
Laziness: 73%
Eating: crunchy apple
Greediness: godicouldowithalineofcokeandashotofwhiskey
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
he was a fucking walter mitty prick

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
I can't even remember who started this whole thing.
Only one I found on search was stuj and tfd
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:36, Reply)
it was that comedy-at-the-george pillock

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
I wonder if he ever made a career out of comedy.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:40, Reply)
nope just ripping people off
www.thelset.com/
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:49, Reply)
looks like a cunt

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:50, Reply)
oh he was
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/4950838.stm
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, Reply)
What a heinously minging website that is.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, Reply)
that website is horrible
and this, by the man himself, is a visual atrocity: www.thelset.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/YOUR-RULES-jpeg-729x1024.jpg
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, Reply)
I bet it says sleep with dirty old men in there somewhere

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:53, Reply)
/r/dontdeadopeninside

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Fucking hell.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
I expect monster munch to get really upset that he can't solve that dingbat

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:11, Reply)
up yours, plod

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:36, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8107370
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
soz windy posted this thread before I had chance to respond and I was busy gazzing the mods
it was lovely, ta.
I did overeating, over-drinking, oversleeping and did it with a lady
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:43, Reply)
As long as you didn't overdo it with a lady.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:48, Reply)
difficult to overdo something in 18 seconds, mat8

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:52, Reply)
holy shit!
Does your wife know?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:54, Reply)
shh

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:01, Reply)
Watch this
youtu.be/gwtzboIq50A
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:42, Reply)
I had to turn it off NOW because I am offended by adult humour

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:44, Reply)
creepy people

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:51, Reply)
oh god this is making me sad

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:55, Reply)
I had to turn it off almost instantly because his voice made me feel sick

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:55, Reply)
He once claimed to have eaten breakfast with Jimi Hendrix lol

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:07, Reply)
Seriously?
I mean...seriously?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:15, Reply)
Yep
In the same post he said 'I drive a fast car and get all the sex I want', it was brilliant. He bragged about going out with a model.

Turns out she was a hand model, with a face like a bag of spanners. He's in a Pink Floyd tribute band.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:20, Reply)
I didn't watch much of the comedy set, but why is he dressed like a homeless man?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:23, Reply)
Hendrix's last words were 'Hood-Butter...dress like a cunt....'

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
seriously
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=breakfast+hendrix
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:20, Reply)
'100% fact'

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:23, Reply)
is there a chance that there's a tiny grain of truth in the tale?
like "I went backstage at the festival and was allowed to eat one of the leftover buffet sandwiches after Jimi Hendrix and his crew had breakfasted"?

I'm just trying to work out how you develop such a chinny-reckon of a tale; it couldn't have come from nothing.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:25, Reply)
'I went to the Isle of Wight on holiday with my paedo uncle, we had breakfast.
There was once a festival on the Isle of Wight. Jimi Hendrix played at it'
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:29, Reply)
Jimi hendrix burnt his guitar's neck. I didn't like it.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
You underestimate the sort of things people lie about to impress others.
Probably once met someone who actually did have breakfast with Jimmy, decided it was a cool story and now retwlls it as himself to impress all the girls he sleeps with.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:30, Reply)
ok

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
Just to play devil's advocate
maybe, just maybe he might be telling the truth? I mean, you never know.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
no m8

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:39, Reply)
I try to see the best in people

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
+r +a

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
this is also true

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:00, Reply)
He was ex sas/sbs, he wouldn't lie

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
oh, well I stand corrected

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:42, Reply)
He was a bellend

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:44, Reply)
You won't be invited to his b4shorzs with that attitude

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:51, Reply)
i suppose
he did used to lie an awful lot though. this was back before qotw was the established location for that
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
What other things did he lie about?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:00, Reply)
there was a lot of the 'model' type stuff that mcbeef mentioned and he was always bragging about his success etc
i don't remember specifics but he got called out on it a fair bit
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:28, Reply)
there's a fair few claims here:
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post543641
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Ooh what did he have?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:20, Reply)
Jimmy Hill on toast

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:20, Reply)
crosstown traffic jam?
no that's terrible
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:39, Reply)
voodoo chilli

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
didn't seem like a breakfast food, but these crazy popstars eh?
who knows what kind of shenanigans they get up to
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
No wonder they die young eating like that for breakfast

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
The Wind Cries Dairy?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
in your house, i'm not surprised

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:51, Reply)
Like A Rolling Stone-baked Pizza

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:52, Reply)
All Along the Zinger Tower

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:53, Reply)
my heart's not in it

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:55, Reply)
the original Bill Hicks

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
I haven't watched this,
but I'm still going to say "Awooga, what a rush."
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:57, Reply)
You hit the nail on the head, m8

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:02, Reply)
That man is the biggest prick in the entire history of b3ta and I don't say that lightly

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:06, Reply)
oh come on, windy's not that bad
haha misunderstandings!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:13, Reply)
yes he is

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:27, Reply)
You terrible troll

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Sefton: sunny
Chance of getting off the couch within the next hour: 100%
Likelihood of soup: 100%
Level of fucks given: 0%
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:41, Reply)
willy
willy
bum
bum
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:52, Reply)

GL3 here
Weather: dunno, frosted windows innit
Interest in work: 15%
Time until hometime: 9 hours
Laziness: 51%
Eating: nothing for 2 days, waiting until I don't feel sick any more
Greediness: 0%
Same shit different dayness: 10%, today seems particularly bad
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:10, Reply)

morbotron.com/video/S05E02/WBOD41wP3_kVO0CzNs0g7ZQeaQ0=.gif
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:14, Reply)

?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:16, Reply)
nice, looks mint

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
someone's parked outside my flat in some sort of sports edition Multipla.
Sport. Multipla.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
Like homers car, manolith show us

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:49, Reply)
oooh, can doooo
frinkiac.com/video/S02E15/TMXzVHjDqaeABybobr_1nzEJVdg=.gif
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:55, Reply)
Thanks unkie herb

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:58, Reply)
:)

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:29, Reply)

wrensnest.org/blog/wp-content/dolemite-remake.jpg
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
is that the movie ODB used in his music video?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:36, Reply)
I've not seen the video to which you refer, I'm afraid.
I did however once see Rudy Ray Moore live, he was performing what I can only really describe as 'comedy pimp poetry', it was a great deal better than it sounds.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:11, Reply)
Is you or isn't you a wordy fuck?
Well?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:39, Reply)
This should be a new thread

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:43, Reply)
It is fine, you can just write willy on this and be done with it

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:49, Reply)
lol
willy-on
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:17, Reply)
I got an A grade
this site's better for measuring your vocab level beyond a silly guardian test though.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:45, Reply)
I got 6

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
me too!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 11:51, Reply)
oh wait, i got 6 in the guardian one
i guess my reading comprehension is pretty bad if i couldn't figure this post out
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:02, Reply)
8/10

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:17, Reply)
You fucking dunce
Well done!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:25, Reply)
10/10 woo!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:17, Reply)
Congratulations
You wordy fuck!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:22, Reply)
Thx bbz
Had a bit of help from my knowledge of French for 'chatoyancy'.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:27, Reply)
Ah yes
Knowing how well your house floats is a very French thing to care about.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:28, Reply)
9/11

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:22, Reply)
jew

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Word fuel can't melt grammatical beams

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
7

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:24, Reply)
McBeef and Ragnarok are better than you
So don't ever forget it.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 12:26, Reply)
ningles

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:28, Reply)
just did a bit of sick in my mouth

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:28, Reply)

s d
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:00, Reply)
just the tip, that's the least gay bit

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:11, Reply)
Shut up.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:29, Reply)
I deserve that

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, Reply)
Ningdongdoodles

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:33, Reply)
the witch is dead

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, Reply)
Glomps

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, Reply)
I've put the internet kettle on, fancy a cuppa?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:35, Reply)
Cor do I , I'll get the baconz nommies

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:41, Reply)
I would like 3 baconz pls

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:44, Reply)
On for teh kitteh

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/6429293
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
as true today as it was then

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:35, Reply)
this whole thread has made me feel disgusted with myself

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:39, Reply)
yet still the mongys do nothing

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:14, Reply)
WANKER

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:34, Reply)
^ upset

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:35, Reply)
Well retro m8

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:49, Reply)
I'm reminding everyone of just how awful this place used to be

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:54, Reply)
Spang!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:56, Reply)
lovelyping

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:07, Reply)
morning, t3h Trouser

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:52, Reply)
you can call me Steve Pantaloons
*Chevy Chase playing invisible trumpet*
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:55, Reply)
Nongles

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:55, Reply)
this reply is aces

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:55, Reply)
I'm very unwell. Been vomiting for 2 days and getting terrible headaches. I think I've caught my wife's morning sickness :(

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:07, Reply)
you have elephantiasis

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:10, Reply)
This is why I'm the doctor and you are whatever you are.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:31, Reply)
love and fluffles

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:13, Reply)
thanks grrry

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:31, Reply)
this ftw

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:14, Reply)
prick

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:31, Reply)
Oh noes

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:21, Reply)
sad toimes

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
get some nommy amoxisillys

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:38, Reply)
great idea mongy, amoxisillys make everything better

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:43, Reply)
Good.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
wanker

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
You should probably go and wait for ages to speak to a disinterested overpaid person about that

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:25, Reply)
It's alright, I can just whinge at my patients.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:30, Reply)
Now I'm no expert,
but it sounds to me like you've overindulged in taking it up the bum from other gay spazzes.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:41, Reply)
Maybe it's YOU who is pregnant
did you think of that?
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:56, Reply)
2 can is a seahorse, confirmed

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:57, Reply)

s personalit
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
Can u get pregante?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:58, Reply)
You have died of dysentry.

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
I can haz morning?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:11, Reply)
Pull up a cat, shop a chair LOL

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:15, Reply)
you'll never leave! Until you get banned

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
Alright

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:23, Reply)
Welcome to our little corner of teh interwebz!

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:29, Reply)
Nah its just the way these trousers hang

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:26, Reply)
*huggles*

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
this is low, even for you

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:49, Reply)
bear in mind mano, this sort of shit was once commonplace

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:51, Reply)
yeah, and these things can stay in the past
what else do you want to bring back? hitler? slavery? dial-up internet?!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:58, Reply)
Grange Hill?
GOOD TOIMES!
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, Reply)
*steals your sausage*

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, Reply)
Row
land
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:28, Reply)
just say no

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:18, Reply)
you were much better when you were RHCPaul
HC u
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, Reply)
sashay away, m8t

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:17, Reply)

media.tenor.com/images/68510afd3f2d06d51062d3fdfabfa2fa/tenor.gif
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:22, Reply)
ham toucher

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 8:55, Reply)
like you've ever seen a ladygarden

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:10, Reply)
or growler as we call it round these parts

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, Reply)
last

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:08, Reply)
Have a big *hug* and a *biscuit*

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:11, Reply)
oh shit

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:13, Reply)
yeah

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:19, Reply)
might as well close the site down, guys
tangles has fucked it
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:24, Reply)
soz everyone

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:27, Reply)
what are you like, eh?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:33, Reply)

giphy.com/gifs/90s-burn-your-life-down-bwitched-pCsNbFNfXZ4yc/fullscreen
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:38, Reply)
no YOU bum YOUR life down

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
hullo

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:12, Reply)
*jiggles moobs*

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:13, Reply)
How was your trip, Tangled?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Holiday, woohoo!
Wife is getting stressed, probably because I rival my children in the "being useless" stakes.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:37, Reply)
I dated a girl whose dad made scale model tiles of his suitcases
and a map of the car boot, and spent the evening prior to departure test-fitting it all on the dining table for space optimization.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:40, Reply)
wow, what a prick

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:52, Reply)
He was an absolute pillock
His daughter grew up to be a bit of a dinlow too
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
actually, that's not fair
His daughter was the textbook example of middle-class-teen-rebellion-maturing-into-middle-class-drone. Sigur Ros as she walked down the church aisle ffs.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
*belms*

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:14, Reply)
very much so
she's since divorced, but since she married a bloke she works with, in a government agency no less, she's basically doomed to keep seeing him every day until they both retire 30 years for now. It's like the backstory for the most tedious BBC sitcom imaginable.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)
you seem to have followed her life quite closely

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
^

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:25, Reply)
I grew up on an island, everyone knows everyone
she's best mates with my cousin, her other mutual friend is the daughter of my dad's next door neighbour, we all went to the same school, drank in the same pubs etc etc blah blah.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:29, Reply)
Simon Lotion?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:19, Reply)
Dibnah

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:48, Reply)
take it easy, man

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:11, Reply)
I'm cool, I'm cool
No one needs to get hurt
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
morning

(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 7:27, Reply)
What's shaking super dudes.
I'm trying to do some studying for my upcoming course, but can't find the motivation. Help me.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:47, Reply)
What you doing?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:58, Reply)
Doing my testing course. 2394/5
I did the fundamental 2392 when I first qualified, but never done a lot of testing, boss wants me to take over the college periodics so I'm going to do this to sort of refresh on testing and to have the final level 3 I need.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:07, Reply)
Wasn't even a separate thing when I passed, think I did the 2391 just after , since then nothing, pissed me off you can do the course and then testing and not even be a spark now

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:17, Reply)
In theory I've got everything I need to be nic,
But having the level 3 lets me test 3 phase boards, so it'll be handy in college.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:19, Reply)
Yeah, all commercial will be 3 phase

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:22, Reply)
Most of the staircases are single, but yeah, getting in to the kitchen stuff and extract and things I'll need it.
The stupid way the courses are structured means I can work on a 3 phase board, and install 3 phase stuff, but I can't sign off a test cert until I get the level 3 testing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:30, Reply)
Do you lot deal with the plant? Or is there none being old

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:32, Reply)
There's a lot of new plant in the kitchen that was refurbed last year,
And plenty of pretty modern boiler setups dotted around as old stuff breaks down. It's almost all on maintenance contracts, but certain bits are started to be handed over to us under the new boss.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Yeah when I worked at the LSE it was like that, there was an in-house team, then us brought in for most hvac , still had 3 mobile blokes to cover the ppm, let alone reactive jobs

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:43, Reply)
Yeah, I'm not keen on taking on the PPE, bit dull for me. Although in a few years I could do with just a trundle around some plant rooms doing a few bits.
Although, now I've moved on to a full spark role I guess it won't be my problem. Checking belts and taking temperatures and changing filters isn't my thing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:48, Reply)
Swings and roundabouts, I liked the reactive mobile, no hot water, I'll jump in the van have a look, I couldn't stand testing

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:51, Reply)
Yeah, reactive would be alright I reckon.
What I do now is reactive I guess, just only site wide, which suits me, 5 minutes to work and back.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:52, Reply)
Multi site reactive used to be great before trackers, lost all power to an entire office, yeah 8 people office and a breakers tripped, well that was me off for the next 3 hours , or home

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:04, Reply)
I hated the tracker when I was PAT.
My boss rang me up on a weekend once to ask why I was I out at 4am in the van. Told him to go fuck himself as we had personal use on them.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:08, Reply)
Supposed to be for cheaper insurance, but some use it like big brother

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:15, Reply)
Company started to stop bonus of you went over 72mph.
Utter bullshit
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:21, Reply)



Mike lindup
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:28, Reply)
He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 22:24, Reply)
fuck it off and go on an all night bender
i trust that helps
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:59, Reply)
Have you been promised a pay rise to accompany your new enhanced skillset?
Cos, you know, more responsibility and blame and that.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:59, Reply)
You want us to pay for your training and expect a rise? You're fired

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:01, Reply)
More fool you, you've just lost all the time and training you invested up til now

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:03, Reply)
Only did that to get the company an investor of people, bye

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:19, Reply)
First office job I had, I tried to get their Investor In People plaque revoked.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:21, Reply)
I can't say I'm surprised

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:37, Reply)
Didn't work, though.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:43, Reply)
Yup,
And backdated to when I took over from the last head spark, as long as I pass.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:07, Reply)
Good stuff.
More money can be your motivation, then.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:14, Reply)
Oh, so you see me as shallow and motivated by financial gain.
Harsh.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:16, Reply)
alt: pragmatic and forward-thinking

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:21, Reply)
I'm doing another work exam just for the CV

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:04, Reply)
Yeah, but you're a dick head.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:08, Reply)
Yer true
But I work in the happy clappy tree hugging poor people enabling mutual sector these days rather than the ultra high net worth sector, so new qualifications eh.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Comfy Vagina?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:08, Reply)
No, you thicko

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:32, Reply)
Took the dogs for a walk along the canal, grabbed a quick pint at the pub.
Supposed to be packing, now, but cba.

Think I'll add packing to the list of things I dislike about travel.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:07, Reply)
Just buy stuff you need when you get there, you miserly povvo.
Also, where are you going?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:09, Reply)
Somewhere that's off the road, I bet.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:15, Reply)
Yeah, if there's one thing that would improve my holiday it's shopping for a week's worth of clothes. For five people.
Going down to Cornwall, not even sure they have shops down there, probably still on the barter system.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:18, Reply)
Just nip out in the morning and get everyone an outfit while they have breakfast,
Put yesterdays clothes in the hotel wheelie bin. Easy.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:31, Reply)
That would cut down on laundry.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:50, Reply)

for a walk along the c
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:25, Reply)
Landlord said that he doesn't care what goes on in the beer garden, so long as we keep the noise down.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:27, Reply)
I'm very happy
My sister has to have 7 weeks of daily chemo but after that the surgeon said she'd be fine. As a result I'm getting merrily twatted
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:20, Reply)
\o/

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:27, Reply)
oh yay! the highest of fives smashy!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 21:29, Reply)
If they did a remake of 'Three Men and a Baby' it'd probably be more like 'Three Transgenders and a Syrian Refugee' or summat!
This world, honestly
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:30, Reply)
It'd still be shit, though.
The day before yesterday I spent 30 seconds cringing hard when I saw they'd made yet another 'man wakes up as a woman and woman wakes up as a man' films, because that's SO FUCKING ORIGINAL, yeah, and not at all shit and for cunts in any way.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:33, Reply)
Member when they basically remade big with Jennifer Garner?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:34, Reply)
no

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
well they did.
I never watched it though.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:37, Reply)
cool

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
Nope.
Googling has revealed there's a film out there called "13 Going On 30", which does indeed look like a shameless rip-off.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:37, Reply)
I thought that was a rip off of Freaky Friday
or did that one just get remade too?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:38, Reply)
I don't know, as I haven't seen either this one or Freaky Friday.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Wasn't there a Freaky Friday remake with Lindsay Lohan

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:56, Reply)
freaky friday did suffer a remake

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:09, Reply)
I thought the remake was quite good
It needed bringing up to date
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
Not even Sigourney Weaver could save it

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 18:00, Reply)
Which one is that?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:35, Reply)
Lol, no-one knows what Slippery Mick is on about.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:44, Reply)
He replied to you, ya jabroni.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:01, Reply)
he's such a Lindup

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:09, Reply)
there's not MUCH spam in it

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:01, Reply)
There is a female remake of Very Bad Things coming out soon
It can't be as bad as the original, which was pretty bad.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:49, Reply)
I thought that was mildly entertaining.
Has anyone here actually seen the female Ghostbusters?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
Saw it in the cinema
It is fine popcorn fare if you wipe the original from your brain. Very disjointed, lots cut out to get the duration down so a directors cut in the future might actually sort out some pacing issues.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:54, Reply)
yes
it sucks rancid donkey bollocks. i was stoned watching it and still didn't laugh.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:10, Reply)
Me and my kids enjoyed it

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:15, Reply)
Have you tried down the back of the sofa?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:37, Reply)
Yer, it was ok. Some funny bits.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:48, Reply)
Sat through the first 30 minutes of it waiting for it to get going
It was just dull. Nothing to do with the female cast, it was just devoid of either action or comedy.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:02, Reply)
I'm very upset about other people's gender.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:51, Reply)
You wish I were female, I understand

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
three Pakistani orphans a gender fluid entity
I think you mean
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:53, Reply)
oh yeah

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:01, Reply)
getting a bit fed up with your hate speech

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:58, Reply)
I meant it in a good way!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:02, Reply)
I'm sure that's what hitler said and all.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:04, Reply)
two hats is worse than hitler, infact he's worse than the bloke who killed hitler

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:08, Reply)
I bet he's even worse than that priest that kept everyone awake by playing Cutty Ranks at 3 in the morning.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:10, Reply)
that was me m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:32, Reply)
Borrow the old man's dog collar again did we?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:39, Reply)
y

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:10, Reply)
Alright, Tim Westwood

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:32, Reply)
I'm a worse painter than Hitler

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:16, Reply)
John Travolta and Bruce Willis in
Look Who's TransQueer
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:07, Reply)
Do you get gay men trapped in women's bodies? Hey Dr I want to become a man so I can get bummed seems a hard sell

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
I have NO idead
but I bet if you can think of it, it'll have happened to someone. Maybe a woman wants to be a man to bum other men? Maybe. I don't know. We need a sun picture story Dear Deidre to really get to the heart of the matter.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 9:05, Reply)
I'd watch that

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:17, Reply)
Honey, I Shrunk My Testicles with extensive HRT

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:19, Reply)
Guest star: Tom Cruise

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:24, Reply)
This is probably libelous.
Doubt Rob can afford the legal fees, so RIP b3ta.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:35, Reply)
He'll be abducted by Scientologists and tortured, hopefully

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:53, Reply)
The Ex-Men

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 18:08, Reply)
I saw 'Adam' at the fringe last weekend.
It's about an Egyptian transman who seeks asylum in Glasgow.
The woman next to me kept muttering "for fucks sake" throughout the show.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:36, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8107203
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:38, Reply)

www.instagram.com/mikelindup/
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:44, Reply)
very, VERY cool

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
Well done rich. You're a very good actor.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:06, Reply)
I think he was the woman next to you actually.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:53, Reply)
That's how good an actor I am, m8
NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:54, Reply)
I'm down from tomorrow until Monday, I'm seeing a play with Robert 'EMH' Picardo.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:42, Reply)
Voyager was shit.
Luckily he's been in good stuff, like Inner Space.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:33, Reply)
Voyager was not shit. DS9 apologist.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:21, Reply)
DS9 started out rubbish, then got good, then got bogged down in crap mythology and got boring.
Voyager was just rubbish from the start, retreading ideas from TNG with a thoroughly unlikable cast of characters.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 20:01, Reply)
haha
Did she know what the show was going to be about before she went in?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:51, Reply)
I got the impression she'd been dragged along by her husband.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:08, Reply)
Hiya

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:24, Reply)
The world's going to hell in a handbasket and no mistake

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 19:21, Reply)
Wetting my finger and holding it up to the wind has revealed that it is time for a new thread.
Yesterday I had to take the bus replacement service and the driver looked like Snoop Dogg's younger brother. He passed the time on his route by flicking V's and dabbing while laughing whenever he passed another bus driver. What's the most fun you've ever had in a boring job?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:27, Reply)
wanking

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:28, Reply)
I nearly crashed the bus!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:33, Reply)
I did data entry for a dairy once
It was me and a proper Kent chav in a room in an industrial estate for 8 hours, starting at 5am. We'd usually finished our day's work in an hour, and spent the rest of the shift eating free yoghurt and trying to do donuts in the electric milk floats.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:34, Reply)
So, is it possible to do a donut in an electric milk float?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:51, Reply)
They're slow, but I reckon they're probably quite torquey.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:20, Reply)
not those ones
felt like they were going to tip over.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:09, Reply)
According to my builder mate transit tippers are surprisingly quick off the line, especially if you've only got a bag of sand over the back axle.
And if there unladen they're very easy to drift round traffic islands.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:19, Reply)
had a few where i just got drunk all day , now i know what dabbing looks like but have no idea what it means

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
Does it even mean anything?
Other than "Look at me: I'm claiming affiliation and thus vicarious coolness with a trending gesture among young people by making that same gesture."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
smoking butane wax cannabis the internet says

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:43, Reply)
wheres manolith ** DUE TO HYGIENIC REASONS THIS PRODUCT IS FINAL SALE **
https
www.meowingtons.com/collections/for-cats/products/cat-eared-pouch-sweatshirt
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:18, Reply)
haha, wow!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 16:24, Reply)
On my morning commute, I would sit at the back of the bus and email complaints to the operator about the driver's behaviour.
I got three of them fired before getting a lifetime ban from that route.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
get a hobby

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:38, Reply)
Collecting bus drivers' scalps was my Pokémon.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:46, Reply)
some black comedian quipped "white people invented yelp because they love snitching so much"
You are the embodiment of that phrase.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:39, Reply)
The fuck is "yelp"?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:45, Reply)
You fucking stupid cunt.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I know everyone here has a low opinion of me,
but I'm shocked to learn that you also hold the bus operators' disciplinary procedures in such low regard.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:59, Reply)
What were they doing that upset you so much?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:10, Reply)
Nothing, Windy, I was making it up.
I actually spent my bus commute listening to The Archers podcast, or watching homestar runner videos that I'd compressed into avi files on the tiny screen of my Zen mp3 player.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:12, Reply)
This is only marginally less awful than being a grass.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Exactly.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:25, Reply)
I fucking love dabbing.
Might dab now.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:46, Reply)
Sherbet dib dab or bag of wizz ?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
wizz I hope

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
Fuck off plod, I'm not saying anything without a lawyer.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:53, Reply)
I'll watch

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:48, Reply)
I just did 3 dabs in a row.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:59, Reply)
nice

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:03, Reply)
People who dab always look like they're doing a sort of covert Hitler salute and don't want anyone to see their face.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:07, Reply)
Well duhhh

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:09, Reply)
The alt-right really lacks pride in their endeavours.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:14, Reply)
Going to the pub on Friday lunch with the owner of the business
The workers getting absolutely wankered on his dime, and then coming back to work about 4ish to have a sleep under the desk.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:13, Reply)
That sounds like a decent racket.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:20, Reply)
The work was alright
Watching TV for mentions of products. Even being paid to watch This Morning didn't make it any better.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:30, Reply)
Worked a marketing contract for a tourist board a few years ago.
Literally nothing doing in the office so I watched the whole of Game of Thrones Season 1 on Ranierland (wiv da angles now). It was fucking shit and made me even more bored.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:15, Reply)
you fucking idiot

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:19, Reply)
#spoiler

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Did you, yeah?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 17:13, Reply)
I worked in an awful Mexican resturant opositte the BBC on Oxford Road, Manchester
As a starving and skinny student I used to use the fridge-cleaning hours to eat as much grated cheese as I could before the proprietor spotted the theft.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:17, Reply)
You are Anthony Worrall Thompson AICMFP.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Alright, Jerry.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:26, Reply)
Tits

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:31, Reply)
Posting Mike Lindup and dog's tits references on a moribund flebsite

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Are you the Judean People's Front?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Poo queer peeholes cunt, more like

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Nowhere near sock's effort from yesterday,
not that that's a bad thing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:48, Reply)
Looks like Aldi are doing to whisky what they've done to gin.
thehookmag.com/2017/08/aldis-18-whisky-officially-one-best-world-147552/

I hope they apply it to rum soon.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Ooh, might see if my local one stocks this.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)
Boring ask alert
Has anyone used surveyors for work on dilapidated buildings, if so please up there me. if not, please go forth and replace words in these sentences with rude words.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:03, Reply)
It's been a while since anyone asked me to up there them.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:07, Reply)
Well today is your lucky day

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:28, Reply)
strike through everything and replace with willy

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:08, Reply)

i o
through everything and replace with my
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Time for a new thread huh
My new bottle of rum is absolutely outstanding, lovely stuff. Do you have expensive tastes or are you fine with bog standard, 'does the job' things?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
my willy does the job

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:36, Reply)
true, but I think the kids would prefer their old lollipop man to come back out of retirement

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:48, Reply)
$$'s willy does the job

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Cheers

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:38, Reply)
The rest of the Trip Advisor reviews though
Not so good
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:12, Reply)

r
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
ma'am

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:49, Reply)
What rum is it?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:38, Reply)

www.thewhiskyexchange.com/p/4550/ron-zacapa-centenario-xo-rum-solera-gran-reserva-especial
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Looks lovely. Is the £50 stuff any good?
For £90 I could get two bottles of the rather excellent Diplomatico Reserva Exclusiva. Which is also fantastic. Have you tried that? If you haven't, you should.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
No idea re the £50 stuff I'm afraid
I have had the Diplomatico I think, very nice but this one is head and shoulders above any rum I've ever tasted
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)

The Solera 23 is delicious. My favourite.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2017, 0:23, Reply)
Is that what gay pirates drink?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:13, Reply)
Dunno, but this is what your wife drinks
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/82/9e/17/829e17e3b48dfba33f2998ec70352584.jpg
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:14, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:12, Reply)
don't be silly
their brand is well known
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:45, Reply)
Richard's looks gayer

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:57, Reply)
The shopping turned up today
And they substituted a 70cl bottle of gin...WITH A 1L BOTTLE OF GIN. Score.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:40, Reply)
I'm firmly a 'does the job' man for most things.
The only exception I can think of off the top of my head is headphones, for which I really thing shelling out extra is worth it.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:43, Reply)
I'm inclined to agree but I can't fault the Portapro's I bought for about £15 for work.
I've had to replace the foam in them a couple of times in 8 years I guess.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:47, Reply)
I couldn't justify shelling out mental money to replace my old sennheisers
so I bought some JVCs (HA-RX700) and they're much better than I expected them to be.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:50, Reply)
Hmm, good to know.
My Sennheisers are currently running on sub-par peripherals because it was £220 for a new official cable or £30 for a cheapy one from China.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:52, Reply)
At more or less line level it makes fuck all difference, just pseudo-scientific snake oil.
I had a fantastic pair of HD25's with slightly crapper cables and BA branding that were excess Concorde stock. Got them for a song but they went missing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:54, Reply)
That was me m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)
I think it might have been the same cunt that nicked my copy of Mr Kirk's Nightmare.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:01, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8107024
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:06, Reply)
I keep an array of posh whiskies on standby for when I'm in the mood
but I'm perfectly happy guzzling cheap local cider on a summer's afternoon, or mixing bourbon and coke with company.

Speaking of expensive, I really fancy this and it's barely 100k.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:45, Reply)
What's that in £
/lazy
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:47, Reply)
about 100k m8, says it right there

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:48, Reply)
soz, I have you on ignore

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:52, Reply)
good, cos I've been making wanker gestures at you all this time

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:53, Reply)
nice lake, by it and i'll come see you

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
The lake was the key point
that and only having 5 houses in the whole village.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:46, Reply)
would you own the lake? can you see how big it is?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:53, Reply)
put "Sidory Zapolne 2" into google maps and you'll see the house
Lake is probably state owned, but I doubt the neighbours would grass you up if you fished it.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:18, Reply)
about half a k long, 200m across, not a bad looking lake, loads of farm land near by so might get very weedy due to fertilizer run off

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:47, Reply)
and the farms all seem to have stock ponds on them for fish

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:48, Reply)
it's a glacial valley, there's little lakes every mile or so

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)

ottle of r
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:46, Reply)
Wonder what happened to his old one

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:55, Reply)
gay'd it too hard

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
work hard, gay hard

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:57, Reply)
Worn beyond repair from decades of aggressive and toxic guffing.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:56, Reply)
this is why I'm anti-organ donation

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:59, Reply)
somewhere there's an old lady working in a charity shop who is about to have the worst day of her life

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:05, Reply)
I managed to score the first two Derek and Clive LP's in an oxfam book and record charity shop.
I love the idea of one of the old biddys sticking it on to see if it played ok.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:09, Reply)
Easily the lowest point in Peter Cook's career

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:13, Reply)
I really like the sketch he did with Moore and Sellers where sellers was a boxer that painted.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:24, Reply)
Swears are funny!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:34, Reply)
alright 'Kunt'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:04, Reply)
Well Richard 'beefy' mcbeef, I would say I'm a little from column A and a little from column B
I realise this isn't a very helpful answer but that is only because I am a cunt.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:57, Reply)
^ typical 'cunt' reply

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:00, Reply)
Once again my cuntishness ruins things
I just hope that one day we can move beyond this and my cunt replies will be a thing of the past
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:14, Reply)
We can but dream

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Champagne tastes, beer budget
So I've learned to make do
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:03, Reply)
I have gold leaf toilet roll.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:05, Reply)
no u never, shu' uuuup

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:08, Reply)
And gold flake beard oil. And a Ferrari. And 6 poo

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:26, Reply)
That's a lot of poo m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I'm a classy dame with style and taste
Much like your nan.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:10, Reply)

Much like your nan now diddle my tits and fuck my face
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:15, Reply)
I really need to check the t's & c's of these Groupon vouchers

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:22, Reply)
I appreciate the expensive things, but I'm generally quite miserly, so I penny pinch wherever I can.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:18, Reply)

penny +random arses in the swimming pool changing rooms
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I'm an inveterate sex pest!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:37, Reply)
alright sf

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:50, Reply)
must be difficult without a spine

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:06, Reply)
materialistic things mean nothing to me , zen aint i

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:38, Reply)
Buddhist as FUCK

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Buddha goes up to the hot dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything."

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:41, Reply)
No wonder he was fat

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:44, Reply)
Hot dog guy hands over the hotdog. Buddha gives him $10, and holds out his hand for his change
Vendor replies "change must come from within".
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:45, Reply)
Buddha says, "No thank you: I do not want the roll of coins you have hidden in your rectum."

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
I hear reincarnation is making a comeback

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:47, Reply)
that joke always goes down a storm
youtu.be/xlIrI80og8c
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:48, Reply)
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop...
and rapes everyone.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:50, Reply)
Buddha shits on a dogs tits, and Yahweh says 'err, you dirty cunt'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 11:58, Reply)
What is the average flight speed of an unladen swallow?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:01, Reply)
Mike Lindup will be able to tell you

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:03, Reply)
This new learning amazes me Sir Bedevere. Explain to me again how sheep’s bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:06, Reply)
do you only know holy grail or sutin?
not sure you're qualified to dole out this "punishment" to mcbeef
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:13, Reply)
They've not all been Holy Grail so far.
Feel free to join in, though. The more Python we can quote, the better for McBeef.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:15, Reply)
i must have missed some then
and no, thanks. you're on your own
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:19, Reply)
L/I/N/D/U/P/

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:26, Reply)
Is your wife a..."goer"... eh? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge nudge. Nudge nudge! Know what I mean? Say no more...Know what I mean?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:31, Reply)
#dogstits

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
#knightswhosayni

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:40, Reply)
If there's a problem Lindup'll solve it
check out the hook while Lindup revolves it
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:09, Reply)
As true today as it ever was

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Found his house, lets pop round
goo.gl/maps/REWE3N5YZHL2
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
see you there

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Give it up mate, he's never going to send you that 'accidental' belfie.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:11, Reply)
That was KC and the Sunshine Band m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)


(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:28, Reply)
^

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:31, Reply)
oh no, that sounds horrible

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:07, Reply)
"This is my simple religion
There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is rape."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:11, Reply)
gusset trouble
i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/08/16/11/434B249B00000578-4795400-image-m-172_1502879568295.jpg
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:14, Reply)
classy broad

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:19, Reply)
cheers

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:35, Reply)
that picture gives me the right horn
there, in the corner
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Fancy the Daily Mail posting a picture of a scantily-clad woman on its website,
probably opposite an article ranting about the invasion of cheap foreign pornography that only Brexit can stop.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:38, Reply)
I had a £3.50 pizza the other day and it was much nicer than the £2 ones I normally get.
Such extravagance!
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:39, Reply)
oh lah-di-dah, check you out

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:52, Reply)
woah!
that's tea sorted
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:53, Reply)
I can't eat those £2 ones any more.
The salt content's enough to preserve an entire shoal of haddock for the winter.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Just sweat it out

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 12:55, Reply)
I'm not sure what it would be like to sit at my desk with a salt crust forming on my skin,
but it doesn't sound pleasant.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:09, Reply)
£3.50 for a pizza??

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:05, Reply)
That's 7 packs of bargain ham.
He's clearly living like a king.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:22, Reply)
it gets worse, ma8
www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-1-mozzarella-tomato-pizza/430538-497640-497641
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:29, Reply)
FUCK OFF

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 13:35, Reply)
morning

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:47, Reply)
Morning Grry

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:50, Reply)
alright SM
how are the bruises?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, Reply)
Still a bit tender
But much better
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:07, Reply)
(what's the strry)

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:08, Reply)
oh, bindun
sorry mano
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:30, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:54, Reply)
word
Haven't logged in to Clash for four days now, just can't be bothered any more
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, Reply)
Think there's a war on

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:16, Reply)
yer, I saw the notification, but we'll see how it goes
Only half the people bother doing wars anyway now, and all the noobs that joined were shit
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:25, Reply)
Yer , dunno what this builder shits about, I'm play golf clash anyway, till I get bored , another one that looks impossible with real coin

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:32, Reply)
builder base is just live 1-on-1 fights
but it's underdeveloped and you just use the same old tactics over and over again, just like those twats using 30+ balloons. Only trouble is, I don't know what else people are playing these days.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:39, Reply)
I ment the main builders left, giants in his guts now

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:42, Reply)
Huts ffs

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:44, Reply)
oh fuck that shit
it's prolly just to stop that practice of leaving one builder hut over in a corner that you can take out with an archer.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:46, Reply)
Yo

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:04, Reply)
sup foo'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:09, Reply)
Hello.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:09, Reply)
punctual and punctuated

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:14, Reply)
It's all downhill from here.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:01, Reply)
Hoj poj

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:14, Reply)
I don't know how to pronounce this

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:17, Reply)
I say scone

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:24, Reply)
IBYD

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:32, Reply)
The j is pronounced like the g in gif

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:28, Reply)
It's called Cif now m8
Try to keep up
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:07, Reply)
L.O.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:18, Reply)
R.U.B.C?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:25, Reply)
S.I.M.B.C

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:59, Reply)
O

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Good monging

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:26, Reply)
I leave the monging to the professionals

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:28, Reply)
"Bodie, can I haff an ithe-cweam?"
*slaps 99 onto forehead*
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 7:40, Reply)
heh

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:33, Reply)
*frrrrt*

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:12, Reply)
sorry, I don't speak Sphinctese

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)
Just testicalarian?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:33, Reply)
Come over here and talk that smack, then we'll see what happens.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:12, Reply)
shut that mouth or I will shut it for you

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:22, Reply)

mouth or I will shut it for you door!

70s canned laughter
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:25, Reply)
bit heteronormative

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:29, Reply)
what does that even mean

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:32, Reply)
Morning
Berlin's okay
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Have you spotted any of the filming locations for Atomic Blonde yet?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:40, Reply)
Think they may have been making a sequel while I was there
a street was cordoned off by runners and there was strewn army trucks and that.

Seeing Atomic Blonde next week so hope to recognise bits
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:49, Reply)
Noice.
I saw it on Monday night and thought it was reet good.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:51, Reply)
Innit
Massive dumb fun. Here is the plot spelled out for you if you didn't end up working out who was double crossing who
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:38, Reply)
Mmh.
It's almost as double-crossy as Miller's Crossing by the end.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:14, Reply)
Is it one of those cities where you can just plonk down with a pint and soak up the atmosphere?
Or do you have to continuously walk around looking at different stuff, only to come home and find out you missed all the good bits because you read the lonely planet guide instead of talking to some actual fucking residents who know what's good and what's bullshit?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:45, Reply)
Latter

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:47, Reply)
Yeah, Germany's famous for its complete lack of beer culture.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:04, Reply)
Uh oh, seems like another tea-gate might be brewing*


*pun very much intended
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:06, Reply)
There is no shortage of beer
and there are plenty of bars, but we didn't find any that we really liked. It's a pretty diffuse city and we should have done more research before going there, but in the few days I spent in Berlin it didn't grab me the same way as Madrid or Rome did. Just me I guess.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Due to *cough* certain events in the 1940s there's much less history to see than in most major European cities
I can tell you now though Gary, I can guarantee you had a better time in Berlin than I did in Paris last week.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:20, Reply)
Well, actually, I found there to be more History
just a different form. One of the underground stations actually spanned east and west Germany! The museums are pretty heavy going as well - but brilliant. Actually, that may have been our problem. Got the 3-day unlimited pass and pretty much maxed out the museums and galleries, but the Bauhaus one was shut on the day we got round to it and that was the one I was most excited about seeing.

I'd go back, but definitely do a cycle tour and book the Reichstag plenty in advance and not overdo the bloody museums again.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:24, Reply)
Ha, we saved the Bauhaus museum until our last day
which happened to be the day it closes. There was a disappointed father & son sat on the steps outside, so we weren't the only ones.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:04, Reply)
A guy I knew a few years ago said the Berlin gay scene was 'extreme'.
He went there on a long weekend and hit the clubs, expecting to see the usual room full of shirtless guys dancing, but everyone was decked out in leather and chains and shiznit.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:25, Reply)
'a guy I knew' eh?
*rubs chin*
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:26, Reply)
4 realz m8.
While it is true that I did go to Berlin for a long weekend a few years ago, I did not hit up the gay clubs while I was there.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:28, Reply)
*chin-rubbing intensifies*

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Well, my monacle did pop out when I saw this
vimeo.com/229820920
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:48, Reply)
i'm gonna be head to toe denim when these come out
www.watchuseek.com/mtwwts-nike-air-max-90-denim-corduroy-ernie-romers-mix/
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:48, Reply)
aka 'The Canadian Tuxedo'

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:55, Reply)
i actually like the shoes, i like the denim on my nike boots

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)
I like them too
I've banned myself from all shopping til October now: no shoes, no tunes, nowt.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
no release date on the shoes anyway

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
I've heard rumours that there's a room in Berghain where people fist each other ankle deep in poo.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:45, Reply)
Who do you speak to that knows this stuff?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:52, Reply)
his parents

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:54, Reply)
Do they have shower rooms in that place?
because I can't imagine a taxi being pleased to take a customer straight out of that place.

Difficult to imagine the conversation:

"excuse me, sir, you seem to have stepped in something."
"yes, up to my elbow."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
In this case it was an angry mental electronic musician who has a seething irrational hatred for DJ's ever since they got caught pretending to dj with premixed cd's.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
Former
There's a spot with (I think) 5 museums on one site, then all you need to do is go to the Brandenberg Gate, Checkpoint Charlie and the old SS HQ, then you can swan about East Berlin smashing it up, safe in the knowledge that you've ticked the culture boxes.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:05, Reply)
Good to know
I miss traveling around and there's a train to Berlin from the end of my road.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I really liked the general atmosphere there
I was expecting spotless, Germanic efficiency but there's actually a relaxed shabbiness about the place which I found charming
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:21, Reply)
We never got past the first bit of your recommended Berlin holibobs

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:38, Reply)
I really want to go.
Would also take a jaunt out to some of the GDR museums outside of Berlin as well I reckon.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:47, Reply)
I bought a red CCCP t-shirt
but bottled it on the day we went to the zoo
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)

CC RH
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
lol
Alright RHCPaul
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)

it a polar bear
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)
One of them was staring at my wife
What would YOU have done in the same situation?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
wanked it off, m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:07, Reply)
See? This is why you're the brains of the operation

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
and the wrists

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:16, Reply)
Do some Nazi salutes, they love that

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:54, Reply)
It really is
I liked Kreuzberg in particular
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:03, Reply)
I really liked Berlin
hth
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:59, Reply)
My boss has come back from a week's holiday even more stressed than she was before she left.
The atmosphere in the office is lovely this morning.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 8:57, Reply)
I'm expecting that next week
My line manager is a nice bloke but he sets up a billion pointless meetings if his excel tables don't align as expected.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:01, Reply)
morning!
what happened to 'ning?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:20, Reply)
It died around the same time as 'teh', 'ftw' and 'dibnah'
The 'Dave Trouserzoic Era'
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:22, Reply)
ah fair do's
probably best that we drowned that particular kitten in the river i guess
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:26, Reply)
Yes.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:58, Reply)
KITTEHS

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:07, Reply)

morning thread from 10 years ago and narry a ning to be seen
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:37, Reply)
Who are those people?
are they all dead now?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:41, Reply)
I think they got jobs that didn't let them shitpost on the internet all day

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:44, Reply)
so 'ning was a transient fad then? who'da thunk

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:47, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/3657415
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:57, Reply)
ooof! yep, life's better without such nonsense

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)

such that
nse
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
ha!
paedo lols
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:16, Reply)
Remember, the alt-left are as bad as the alt-right
Yeah, right, ya massive racist volleyball.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:39, Reply)
Nazis have feelings too!
Have you hugged a Nazi today?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
I did
Their pointy medals hurt my chest
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:53, Reply)
It's true, Anti-fa's roots go back almost as far as the nazi's!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:56, Reply)
No point coming in here with that.
/talk has a right wing echo chamber led by Reichsfuhrer McBeef.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:49, Reply)
Jawohl
*clicks heels*
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:00, Reply)
Nice Cubans!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:01, Reply)
#ReeperbahnStyle

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Don't fear the reeper.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:20, Reply)
pretty much /links

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:33, Reply)
"i'm just trying to have a reasoned debate!"

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 9:52, Reply)
Fascist ablooblooing is the funniest ablooblooing.

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:02, Reply)
Straight white males are the last minority.
Why are we always being oppressed?
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:05, Reply)
I don't think you can include yourself in that category m8

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:11, Reply)
It's funny watching them being torn between "these statues should be preserved for historical importance" and "losers shouldn't get participation trophies".

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:06, Reply)
Today: Confirmed ISIS member says he and his friends all voted for Trump
Tomorrow: Trump - "I say the WTC was TOO big anyway!"
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:09, Reply)
lol
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/i-like-people-who-shout-hail-trump-confirms-trump-20170814133993
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Fake news!

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
absolutely nothing Trump does or says surprises me anymore
If he claimed to be the second coming of Christ, I wouldn't bat an eyelid
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Nah, Christ is too much of a hippy Jew for the likes of Trump.
Trump'd claim to be the second coming of Julius Caesar or someone like that.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Ah, of course
Imagine being so anti-semetic, you wouldn't want to be compared to Christ
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:26, Reply)
I read a doozy the other day about him being given a heavily curated folder twice a day by Sean Spicer about how great he is.
news.vice.com/story/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Yeah, I read that too
They have to pepper everything with his own name, just to keep his attention. Poor old Hilary. Imagine being less popular than this clown.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:32, Reply)
As P.J. O'Rourke said,
"I am endorsing Hillary, and all her lies and all her empty promises. It's the second-worst thing that can happen to this country, but she's way behind in second place. She's wrong about absolutely everything, but she's wrong within normal parameters."
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:35, Reply)
But her emails!
I liked it when he had that meeting with the Chairman of China about North Korea and it was quite obvious the Chairman had sighed, taken a deep breath and explained, like he were explaining to a toddler, why he couldn't just 'sort it out'.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 10:37, Reply)
Right, we've got to interview a prospective GP partner this evening. Ideas for questions please.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:50, Reply)
How long is a human pregnancy, might help you out knowing the answer

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:51, Reply)
Ok, how about "can you tell me about a time when you accidentally typed the wrong thing and everyone was a prick about it?"

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:54, Reply)
Thank god that's never happened to me.
I don't think I'd ever live it down.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:16, Reply)
lol

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:17, Reply)
ooOOOOOOoooooOOOOH!!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:16, Reply)
^upset

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:03, Reply)
aw, sally sensitive

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:06, Reply)
No real names, pls

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:08, Reply)
soz

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:10, Reply)
Still not apologising for prescribing a 'potentially lethal' dose then?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:08, Reply)
I'm not really sure why the mods do nothing.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:58, Reply)
too busy giving a potentially lethal dose of digit to poor unsuspecting dogs, no doubt

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:31, Reply)
et tu, vlad? :(

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 0:41, Reply)
how many bums have you had your hand up?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Are you a regular visitor of cookingwithpoo.com

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 17:57, Reply)
Would you consider doing house calls on your motorbike? We're looking for a MotoGP.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:01, Reply)
vg

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:22, Reply)
a prospective gay penus partner, eh?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:02, Reply)
Ask about his favourite type of cancer.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:10, Reply)
Where do you see yourself in five minutes time?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:13, Reply)
Balls deep

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:14, Reply)
you've got the job

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Have you ever reached down a patient's throat and up their bum at the same time and been able to shake your own hand

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:14, Reply)
excellent party trick, that

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 6:12, Reply)
Have you got a human skull on your desk at home

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Name something that can't be cured with amoxicillin, that'll stump a gp

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:15, Reply)
Give it to me straight, how long have I got

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:16, Reply)
why do fools fall in love?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:22, Reply)
Interesting because i was thinking about that earlier
I may be a fool..
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:50, Reply)
'Is your wife an elephant, like mine?'

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:25, Reply)
At least she'll never forget his birthday.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:28, Reply)
I got mistaken for a doctor, just now.
I think you should ask any candidates to prove their credentials, just to be on the safe side.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
Dr Snuggles, probably

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
I am a little jaundiced.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:29, Reply)

jaundiced bender
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:05, Reply)
This made me laugh more than it had any right to

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:09, Reply)
now imagine him singing it, like i'm a little teapot

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:11, Reply)
Haha
Is he doing it in a funny voice?
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:13, Reply)
i've been operating under the assumption that his normal voice is absurd

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:17, Reply)
It is.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 20:31, Reply)
Summat about tits

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:27, Reply)
Cor, tits!

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:29, Reply)
"Locums earn reduce the money for half the work, why on earth would you want to be a partner?"

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:42, Reply)
What now?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:48, Reply)
I think it's telling that I never bother to read anything I type on here.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:14, Reply)
Doctors they are led it off the roaf

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:50, Reply)
They don't even earn enough for a good roaf dinner any more.

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:57, Reply)
or a roaf of bread, even

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:09, Reply)
Plick

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:13, Reply)
lol cums, more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:03, Reply)
When did your pub get repossessed and are you still a bankrupt?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 18:53, Reply)
hahaha

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:06, Reply)
does he like it soft? hard? finger up the bum?
GoT quotes
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:47, Reply)
tight wee hot two into poo a prostitute DP bum gardener tits wee-minge. japs eyes porn quim chums wees, more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 19:55, Reply)
wow

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:15, Reply)
How common is Tom Jones syndrome?

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:15, Reply)
extremely rare

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:19, Reply)
Delilah

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 21:45, Reply)
as common as a sex bomb

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 22:08, Reply)
No idea, but AH THINKAHMGONNADAANCE, NOW

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:14, Reply)
Fart of noise, more like

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:16, Reply)
Shart of boys

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:19, Reply)
ah wait I remember this one, it's NOT UNUSUAL!!!
ahahaha
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:32, Reply)
how are you on unloading the dishwasher?
would you ever steal someone else's milk from the fridge?
growing cannabis plants in the loft: yes or no?
are you considerate about playing music late at night when you don't have to work the next day?
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:09, Reply)
wait, soz, may have misunderstood the question :(

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:10, Reply)
Do you know how to differentiate between patients with similar/identical names?
Had a doddery old woman on the phone yesterday, asking why she'd had Risedronate tablets and Vitamin D3 sachets delivered. Turned out today that they were meant to be prescribed to another doddery old woman with the same name, and it was blind luck that the first doddery old woman was compos mentis enough to query it, because she'd probably have been very ill if she took them.

Still, at least that sort of prescribing error is very rare and doesn't happen multiple times every fucking day.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:11, Reply)
:-(
staff can help out here by
1.) checking the effing NHS number, address, really any aspect of the patient record whatsoever other than the name
2.) giving a tiny shit about what they are doing
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:15, Reply)
3.) Sprachen ze Ingese
HARD BREXIT NIGH
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:18, Reply)
alright Mr R McB xoxoxoxox

(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:19, Reply)
Yeah, that GP surgery has serious form.
A few years ago, Mark Johnson (not actual name) was going mental because his co-codamol 30/500 prescription hadn't been sent from the surgery, and he was going off to work on the rigs so he needed it ASAP. Got a prescription sorted, after a few phone calls.

A few weeks later I saw a prescription in the drawer for Mark Thomson (not actual name) for co-codamol 30/500. Mark Thomson had never previously been prescribed any painkillers, and had (obviously) never collected his prescription.

What had happened was that MJ ordered a repeat prescription of co-codamol, it had been issued to MT by untrained surgery staff, and the GP had signed it without looking at the patient's notes.

This sort of thing happens terrifyingly frequently.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:23, Reply)
hmmmm
I know it's a system under pressure with individual members of staff under pressure but still.
www.gmc-uk.org/guidance/ethical_guidance/27249.asp
www.rpharms.com/resources/professional-standards/professional-standards-for-error-reporting
I think I'd get a bit agitated in anticipation of being stuck on an oil rig without painkillers, if I needed them.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:29, Reply)
Indeed, I meant no criticism of the patient in this case.
Error reporting is a fundamental part of improving patient care in the long term, but unfortunately those who stand to benefit the most from improving their performances are usually the least likely to engage with the process of documenting their own fuck-ups.
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:40, Reply)
very much this :-/
guten nacht mein herrdgehog from heil
(, Tue 15 Aug 2017, 23:47, Reply)
Ristorante? Pizza in tablet form? Whatever next?

(, Wed 16 Aug 2017, 0:14, Reply)

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