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Yo

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:45, Reply)
windy
I saw a good film last night. It was called Buzzard, it's what napoleon dynamite would've been if it wasn't intentionally lolwakki and shit and the main character was an apathetic waster.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:45, Reply)
Have you seen 'Beyond the Black Rainbow'?
It might be up your street, or it might not.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:55, Reply)
Sounds ok.
You might like Safety Not Guaranteed.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:04, Reply)
*scribbles furiously*
*downloads*
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:09, Reply)
It's got 'the moody one' from Parks and Rec in it.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:27, Reply)
Ron Swanson? I've never watched Parks and Rec except for brief excerpts on YouTube but he seems like a good candidate for the moody one.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:44, Reply)
Bumrush the show

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:05, Reply)


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|__/ \__/|__/ |__/|__/ |__/|__/ |__/|__/ |__/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ \_______/ |_______/ \______/ \_______/ \____ $$|__/ \______/ \______/ \______/ \______/ |__/ |__/ \______/ \______/ |__/ |__/ |__/ |__/
/$$ | $$
| $$$$$$/
\______/

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:36, Reply)
hwey

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:40, Reply)
hey girls

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 21:40, Reply)
one week to go
how do you celebrate Rod Serling's birthday?
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:46, Reply)
by googling 'Rod Serling'

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:58, Reply)
seriously?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:59, Reply)
some yank sci fi telly dramatist who died four decades ago?
how the fuck are any of us supposed to know who that is
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:00, Reply)
he created the twilight zone
huge show in its day
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:02, Reply)
We preferred tales of the unexpected in the UK, keep your yank shit

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:03, Reply)
my cousin loved the opening credits
now we know she's a lesbian, that makes more sense
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:04, Reply)
I have no recollection of it ever being on UK telly
The feature film, yes, but I never saw the actual programme
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:09, Reply)
in fairness I don't watch a lot of telly though

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:09, Reply)
just 'Triple D' and 'Nazi Megastructures'

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:13, Reply)
gotta love trippin' to flavortown

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:17, Reply)
iirc, it was shown here in the late 70's/early 80's

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:17, Reply)
They brought it back again at some point, I only know this because The Grateful Dead played the theme

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:20, Reply)
there was a good episode i remember
where a bloke wakes up to find that words now mean something completely different and he's the only one who doesn't know what's going on. i think the word for lunch was changed to dinosaur
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:23, Reply)
Cranberry.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:01, Reply)
just checked it out, the episode is called wordplay
it is very weird
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:06, Reply)
I like the radio version,
but none of this is any excuse for not knowing who Rod Serling is. Shame on all of you.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:01, Reply)
i think my granddad listened to the radio version
i'd ask him, but he's a bit dead.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:08, Reply)
There is a place where you can ask him.
A place not only of sight and sound, but of mind. A place both of shadow and substance, of things and ideas. A place called, The Outer Limits.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:36, Reply)
silly person.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:39, Reply)
I used to enjoy The Outer Limits.
It had the good fortune to be relaunched during my post X Files, consume all scifi phase.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:42, Reply)
they even take the piss out of the twilight zone on futurama
i would have thought more people would remember him
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:03, Reply)
The mornign sun, when it hits your face, really shows your age
well, the paper boy does take great care with his aim and the print leaves proletariat headlines on your crow's feet.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:05, Reply)
i don't have crow's feet

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:08, Reply)
Most people who watch futurama have never seen the twilight zone. I guess it's shit like that that got futurama cancelled

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:05, Reply)
i enjoyed both

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:08, Reply)
Listen to Maggie May, it's one of his best.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:04, Reply)
had a neighbour called maggie may
we used to drive her nuts singing that at her
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:05, Reply)
I had an order from a 'Gail Platt' today

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:10, Reply)
was it some mouth widener?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:17, Reply)
it was an inflatable chin

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:21, Reply)
ah, the jimmy hill

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:27, Reply)
I just had Mike Willey

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:56, Reply)
:)

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:09, Reply)
wanking

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:01, Reply)
isn't that how you celebrate every day?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:05, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:06, Reply)
Shoving my arm up an Emu's arsehole

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:07, Reply)
is that this year's turducken?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:09, Reply)
Sounds forrin.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:24, Reply)
chicken inside a duck inside a turkey

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:27, Reply)
now it's a party!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:33, Reply)
a medieval party

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:45, Reply)
Mmm, turd...

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:37, Reply)
quarter circle forward + punch

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 18:57, Reply)
Watch videos of people riding the Tower of Terror
Possibly the best theme park ride there is.
Edit: I ripped off a story from the Twilight Zone for my GCSE Eng Lag. Got a B. Thanks Rod!
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:08, Reply)
i like the dragon khan in fort aventura myself
i ripped off a horror story, but i can't for the life of me remember who wrote it
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:16, Reply)
Just watched the video of that
Nice corkscrew action!
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:20, Reply)
i managed to go there the week after the park opened
cost £25 back then, dread to think what they'll be charging these days
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:21, Reply)
€47
So doubled.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:24, Reply)
bloody hell!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 16:28, Reply)
farting in a hooker's mouth

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 17:58, Reply)
What rugby team does he play for....oh hahahaha

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 18:31, Reply)
alright chuck berry

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 18:58, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:31, Reply)
fuck Rod Serling

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:32, Reply)
I think we've established that he's thoroughly dead.
Don't see why you feel the need to desecrate his remains.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:46, Reply)
+ in the cunt piece

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 19:47, Reply)
Right in the fucken pouch, m8

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:44, Reply)
I like the episode about the avid bookworm who survives the nuclear holocaust.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 20:09, Reply)
Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day?
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:49, Reply)
Yeah k

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:52, Reply)
Oh don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day?
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:05, Reply)
Disgusting

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:06, Reply)
I'm not buying Mortimer's story that it's about his dead brother

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:09, Reply)
It's about a man he raped and murdered

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:10, Reply)
well that makes this verse make a lot more sense:
I touch your face while you are sleeping
And hold your hand
Don't understand what's going on
Good times we had return
To haunt me
Though it's for you
All that I do seem to be wrong
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:17, Reply)
Go maim yourself with a potato

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:22, Reply)
is this official nhs advice for those suffering from mental illness?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:26, Reply)
If we get through one more night
If we get through one more night
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:53, Reply)
I'm appalled that Xmas time is taken as carte blanche to broadcast the word "faggot" on the radio.
And not in the context of a nice meal or a bundle of sticks.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:54, Reply)
What other way is there?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Search me, but it must be rude, as my son was telling me last night that he'd learnt a new swear word,
an F word, not f-u-c-k, but f-a-g-g-o-t. Must be something filthy.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:59, Reply)
Did he already know slut? I had to tell my boy what junk was

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:04, Reply)
No one cleans behind our fridge, so he must know what a slut is.
Not sure I'm comfortable discussing promiscuity with him, he's still of the opinion that sex is something gross that he wants nothing to do with.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:08, Reply)
I've heard a version say blaggard, and any version without Shane is rubbish

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:58, Reply)
I do hope that a lo-fi, whimsical cover version is used for next year's John Lewis advert.
Suitably bowdlerised, of course.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:01, Reply)
Have you been listening to Radio 3?
'Fagott' is German for 'bassoon'.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:59, Reply)
+Shatner's

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Eberhard Jessop-Jessop's Concerto in Bb major for Shatner's Bassoon.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:04, Reply)
I'll bet mcbeef has some Cake stories to tell.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:09, Reply)
He's the kind of guy who has no time to have qualms about saying 'faggot' on the radio.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:11, Reply)
He's a good looking rebel who doesn't play by the rules.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:26, Reply)
He's a flebel without a cause.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
+ On the bozboz

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:12, Reply)
^ upset faggot

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:00, Reply)
maybe
show me something first ;) x
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Nah, gonna be an hero

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:01, Reply)
alright wanna-be-Terence-Trent-D'Arby

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:13, Reply)
can you blame him?
Terence is DA BAMB
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:18, Reply)
no, soz

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:13, Reply)
Cock shit wank fart poo

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
Knob plop bollocks

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:32, Reply)
Mornington Crescent!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:32, Reply)
nitty gritty

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:36, Reply)
^ listening to the boy from the big bad shitty

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:47, Reply)
jam plops.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:04, Reply)
yes it does

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:29, Reply)
come on m8 I'm trying to get a serious discussion going here

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:38, Reply)
Shit bollocks wank fart

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:48, Reply)
i only just got here

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 15:00, Reply)
Alright slashtalk how's it going lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:57, Reply)
trying to work out what the best christmas sweets are
so I can gorge myself senseless next week
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:00, Reply)
Toffee Poppets

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Turkish delight.
Poss. GS
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:06, Reply)
After Eights obvs

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:11, Reply)
hot buttered bum

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:15, Reply)
lol, bum

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:19, Reply)
wanna cyber?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:27, Reply)
Y

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:30, Reply)
Bags of poo

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:31, Reply)
Sugared almonds

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:34, Reply)
Tits

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Sugared Tits
Almonds
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:42, Reply)
a big sweaty cock

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:45, Reply)
giant fizzy cola bottles

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:55, Reply)
I am bored at work.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:32, Reply)
What happened to the 18th edition being released? Has it been pushed back

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:33, Reply)
I thought it was January 2018 for review and then July 2018 for introduction.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:43, Reply)
Ah ok , I've not been keeping up on the news

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:45, Reply)
Yeah, so it'll be Jan 2019 when we'll all have to have got it,
Gives sparks 6 months. Depending on how long ago you did 17th will mean whether you do it all again or just a short course on the new stuff.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Hellooooo bayyyBEH
This is the Big Plopper speaking (Richard mcbeef).

How's it going? Ready for Christmas yet?
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:37, Reply)
S'alright.
Went to a corker of a gig on Saturday night.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:39, Reply)
I only went to a few gigs this year, shame really

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:42, Reply)
You did WHAT? You killed WHO?
Oh baby, you knoOOOOOW I'm calling the police
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:40, Reply)
lol
Nice weekend m8?

Mine were greet.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:43, Reply)
yeah, it was alright
nothing interesting to report, really
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:45, Reply)
Yes

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:48, Reply)
good lad

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:24, Reply)
There's a fucking great tree in my lounge blocking off my liquor cabinet and spraying needles everywhere

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:53, Reply)
Sounds like you're ready for Christmas M8

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:10, Reply)

i.imgur.com/lleTyea.gif
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:16, Reply)
My dad's former neighbour was an insurance assessor before he retired.
He used to get called out all the time over Christmas to assess damage caused by burning trees.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:17, Reply)
it's the blim burns, too many contaminants in the resin

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:20, Reply)
may the yule log slip from your fire and burn your house down

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:21, Reply)
Sure am buddy
I'm so excited I could literally start ploppin' around the christmas tree, have a happy holiday
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:56, Reply)
Have become slightly addicted to watching Taskmaster on Dave
Well, via the website so the ads are cut out.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:58, Reply)
I went to the filming of one of the first episodes of that at the Clapham Grand
got bored halfway through and wandered off to the pub
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:14, Reply)
Yeah, can see how it would take an age to setup each of the sections
And watching the action happen on a video screen would also be wank, but hey it works on tv.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:18, Reply)
Last time I was in there was to see Mobb Deep in about '95
It followed an afternoon in the pub in St John's Wood with the Chemical Brothers and I was fucking ruined on MDMA, weirdest hip hop show ever
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:18, Reply)
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(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:27, Reply)
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(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:32, Reply)
'Unsubscribe' in the subject line

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:39, Reply)
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(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:39, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:39, Reply)
MASSIVE DRUGS

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:51, Reply)
the biggest

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 14:13, Reply)
I have 30 minutes reserved with that website called amazon
Should all be sorted in 30 minutes. As long as I remember my slot time.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:00, Reply)
Slot time?
Explain
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:12, Reply)
GS

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:15, Reply)
They're sending a man round to push a load through his slot.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:52, Reply)
poon

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:18, Reply)
all things considered, not really, but so what

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:19, Reply)
I'm a reindeer

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Good for you buddy

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:23, Reply)
^ reading this in Sam from Quantum Leap's voice

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:24, Reply)
lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:27, Reply)
reindeers are the best

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:24, Reply)
thanks all :-)

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:25, Reply)
I'm alone and have no social engagements booked. I have not bought any presents and do not expect to receive any. I couldn't be more ready!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:39, Reply)
JOYYY TOO THE WORRRLD, DA NERR NERR NERRR

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:44, Reply)
booking my flight

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:48, Reply)
Party at 2Can's!
I'll put it up on Facebook, this is going to be a monster!
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Yeah
just about. Few last minute bits to get. I'm ahead of the game this year due to having had a breakdown resulting in six months off work. GO TEAM MENTAL.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:47, Reply)
you should have called the RAC lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:49, Reply)
I bet you're not going to tell your brother that one at the Christmas dinner table.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:17, Reply)
Haha you couldn't be more wrong

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:41, Reply)
Got on a lucky one, came in 18 to 1, I've got a feeling , this year's for me and you

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 11:49, Reply)
that's me whistling diddly-dee for the rest of the fucking day thanks

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:01, Reply)
You're a bum, you're a punk, you're an old slut on junk, lying there almost dead on that drip in that bed

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:11, Reply)
bum lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:19, Reply)
You came 18 times to her 1? I bet she wasn't a lucky one ydob

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 12:03, Reply)
morning
how does it feel, to treat me like you do?
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 7:42, Reply)
It feels great

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 7:45, Reply)
you lay your hands upon me m8
pbs.twimg.com/media/BcgYoSNCEAEf-Sy.png
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:22, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZx2dFPpB2M
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:25, Reply)
FAKE SANTA!
Sad.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:12, Reply)
New Order?
Poo Ordure more like!!!!
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 7:45, Reply)
Joy Division's originally planned debut album was to be named "Warsaw", fact fans

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:23, Reply)
Well, they were called Warsaw at that point but changed their name because there was a local band called Warsaw Pakt

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:30, Reply)
They were shit

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:37, Reply)
Ok m8

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:41, Reply)
but everyone knows THAT, pakt fans

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:49, Reply)
Get your first 70 minute album of Pakt Order sent to home or work for just £1 when you use code 'b3ta' here

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:37, Reply)
Gives me a stonk-on every time.
Last night I watched Beyond the Black Rainbow. Hands-down the trippiest damn film I've seen in my whole life.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:07, Reply)
sounds like the care bears grew into an emo phase

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:24, Reply)
Wife and daughter have gone off on holiday with her mum leaving me alone for a week.
I feel like Macaulay Culkin in that film - Richie Rich.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:14, Reply)
they haven't gone TO a destination, they've gone AWAY
from you.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:24, Reply)
failed marriage lols

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:26, Reply)
I've never really thought about it

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:54, Reply)
thinkings not your strong point

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:54, Reply)
With cuprenol?
MHORNHING
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:55, Reply)
strepsils for me

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:03, Reply)
Shit

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:58, Reply)
+on a dog's tits, it's 8:58!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:03, Reply)
You're not still hungover, are you?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:11, Reply)
I am
But I got pissed again last night. Turns out it's the 4th beer that cured the hangover and probably number 7 that got me the new one.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:42, Reply)
i feel nothing

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:05, Reply)
welcome to my world

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:07, Reply)
and how does nothing feel about that?
hahahaha
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:13, Reply)
oh!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:24, Reply)
yes, I'm afraid we had to amputate both your arms

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:15, Reply)
How's your third party wank machine business coming along?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:17, Reply)
I did my best,
I just couldn't get past all the hair.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:44, Reply)
feels like heaven

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:05, Reply)
he' ven

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:08, Reply)
peter hook is 61 now, blows my mind

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:11, Reply)

mind knob every Tuesday night
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:13, Reply)
wednesday

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:17, Reply)
you would, wouldn't you?
larecord.com/larwp/wp-content/gallery/sept2013_peter-hook_fonda/PETER%20HOOK%20AND%20THE%20LIGHT-FONDATHEATRE-SEPT%2021%2C%202013-61-2.jpg
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:13, Reply)
no need m8

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Caroline Aherne isn't

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:19, Reply)
Ooh, you edgemeister, you.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:26, Reply)
people being dead is well lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:28, Reply)
Well, harold ramis did write a couple of comedies about it

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:31, Reply)
yeah but he's dead too, lol

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:51, Reply)
serves him right

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:58, Reply)
That's where writing comedies about the dead'll get you.

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:59, Reply)
dunno, Peter Jackson had his hand in horror comedy "The Frighteners"
and he ain't dead yet
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:31, Reply)
Yeah, but he had to stick around for long enough to do 'Lord of the Rings'.
He could have carked it before doing 'The Hobbit', though; that wouldn't have been a massive tragedy.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:35, Reply)
I treat everyone with the same level of contempt.
You are not special.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:15, Reply)
gunnery sergeant fartman more like!!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:28, Reply)
Stupid cricket cunts ffs

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:30, Reply)
What happened?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:41, Reply)
If there are a lot of them, they can be really noisy at night

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Britain's sports team performed just like they always do, and Brits are understandably shocked and upset

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:43, Reply)
Lost by an innings , that's the ashes over

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:48, Reply)
It was pretty much over after the first test.
We're shit abroad because we can't tweak the wicket to favour us.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:03, Reply)
Oh yeah, everyone will forget about it when we are at trent bridge in the summer and the balls swinging

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:09, Reply)
lol, "balls swinging"

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:11, Reply)

trent biffin's
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:19, Reply)
Filthy
But in a good way.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 9:59, Reply)
"spank me daddy" filthy, or covered in mud filthy?

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:27, Reply)
Soul tainted filthy

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:36, Reply)
How does it make YOU feel?
morning
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:22, Reply)
no-one's ever asked me how I feel about it

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Was/Am meant to be going to a wedding in January
At Cameron House.

Given there are currently 45 fire fighters trying to put the flames out, not sure that'll be happening now.
(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 10:24, Reply)
GNAAAAAAAAAH! Hello and I wish you ALL a
very merry CRISPMAS from the bottom of my PAWS! It is an amazing time of YEAR so just remember that the most amazing gifts come WITH PEACE AND GOOD WILL and PAWS GNAAAH! o<¦:o3
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 21:19, Reply)
alright Mr Meow-Meow Presentpaws
they said you'd been run over
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 21:46, Reply)
Nommy zombies

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 21:49, Reply)
fuck

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 22:03, Reply)
Ugh, I'm allergic to cats.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 22:23, Reply)
Die hard is on too

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 22:40, Reply)

hard is on too
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 22:55, Reply)
:D

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 6:01, Reply)
W/Y/H!!

(, Mon 18 Dec 2017, 8:00, Reply)
What are people eating this evening?
You cannot say Hitler.

Or Cock.

I want some recommendations for wireless headphones. Big cans.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:38, Reply)
I recommend you fuck off

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:49, Reply)
I can't really add anything to this

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:59, Reply)
I bought them kans.
Need a better amp though. Gonna get a quad I reckon.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 19:08, Reply)
I honestly have no idea what you are on about, I missed the headphone thing

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 19:13, Reply)
They're not headphones, linn kans - linn's modified version of the bbc ls35/a speaker.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 20:17, Reply)
Alright fucksocks

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:51, Reply)
Everyone's using spare accounts now and I don't know what to believe

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 19:17, Reply)
Chicken pie

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 20:20, Reply)
Baked potatoes with cheese and beans.
Wireless cans are shit. Cables don't have problems associated with battery life and are less susceptible to interference.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 20:24, Reply)
^
The last pair of proper wireless cans I owned had a constant background hiss.

Right now I've got a decent pair of Bluetooth cans and the battery life is fine, so your mileage may vary.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 20:30, Reply)
I'm really happy with my bluetooth Soundmagic earbuds.
Not having to thread the cable under the shirt or having it snag when i try and pull my phone out to change track is great.

Wouldn't want them in my ears all day though mind.

I wouldn't wear big headphones outside my own house as you look like a mental. I have a pair of koss porta pro's for when I'm at work. They were an excellent purchase.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 20:37, Reply)
No, I don't wear mine outside either.
I'm going to make an exception next week because I've got a six-hour train journey on the cards and I want some decent sound quality.

I've also got a set of Bluetooth osteophonic cans for the office so I can still hear the phone ringing but blot out my boss harping on about her dysfunctional kids for the umpteenth time.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 20:46, Reply)
Six hours of train cans

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 21:17, Reply)
I want to see this porno

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 21:19, Reply)
I'm having a beer and it's not helping,
it normally helps. Why isn't it working?
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:30, Reply)
Two options, as far as I see it.
Either you're overthinking things or it's the wrong sort of beer.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:33, Reply)
The pub's quiet and I taped 10,000 BC the other day. Might get a bottle of red, some cheese and biscuits and some weed on the go.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:37, Reply)
Is that that Raquel Welch one?

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:43, Reply)
Yer, STV2 have a vintage afternoon film slot, taped the entertainer as well.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:48, Reply)
Ah, that'll do very nicely.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Also tempted to watch Buzzard as well.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:53, Reply)
damn it all, i might have to just die.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Just realised I forgot to ask a follow-up question:
What's it supposed to be helping with?
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:45, Reply)
a fucking horrific hangover

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:52, Reply)
Ah.
Get yerself a sausage and chips, man.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:53, Reply)
i've got steak and eggs

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:54, Reply)
That's the spirit.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:55, Reply)
When I was walking back from dropping the rental van back this morning I found a proper industrial estate greasy spoon. Couldn't resist.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:58, Reply)
I miss those.
I've just looked up the St. Giles Café in Oxford, which was my go-to greasy spoon of a Saturday morning, and it looks like they've gentrified the fuck out of the place. Rubbish.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:09, Reply)
its absolute dog shit now

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:09, Reply)
They don't even serve chips any more.
FFS.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:10, Reply)
i think they took the fryer out because it caught on fire and nearly burned the whole place down

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:14, Reply)
OK, I get the principle that most of central Oxford is ancient and cramped and in no way "up to code",
but the idea of a greasy spoon turning into a granola and "roasted provençal vegetables with crisp polenta and salsa verde" monstrosity because chips were deemed too dangerous makes me lose a little bit of my faith in humanity.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:25, Reply)
If they're not pushing the bacon and eggs around on the hotplate with what seems appears to be an actual paint scraper I don't want to know.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:28, Reply)
only proper greasy spoon in oxford centre now is in the covered market

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:29, Reply)
Surely the endearingly depressing Excelsior on Cowley Road is still there?
Edit: ah you did say centre, fair enough.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 19:43, Reply)
Modern fryers really shouldn't do that.
I was gutted when I visited my parents'to find the local diner was some fancy place now. Had fond memories of skiving PE in the upstairs smoke room.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:27, Reply)
market forces mate.
we played with a band last night and they were all vegans that didnt drink.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:30, Reply)
How Fugazi have fallen.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:53, Reply)
I ha been at a Christmas party for children
In a pub. It was fucking diabolical.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:41, Reply)
"Children" and "in a pub" should never appear in the same sentence to begin with.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:44, Reply)
Don't worry, I can fix it!
ren
In a pub. It was

diabolical.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:48, Reply)
"I'm sick and tired of your children, I am going to the pub"

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:49, Reply)
+ fucking

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:50, Reply)
OK, I'll make an exception.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:54, Reply)
yeah but then she insists that they're my children too and I have to take them with me 'cause she's sick of them too

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 21:49, Reply)
children should not be allowed in a pub

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:53, Reply)
Well I disagree, I've been in pubs since before you were born

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:29, Reply)
I've got 99 problems but you ain't one

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:25, Reply)
I don't know. Maybe because you don't BELIEVE?
I've just come back from the steak restaurant in the Hippodrome casino. I've not been there since I was backstage for the alternative miss world, many years ago (long story). Damn - they do a good steak and lobster. The wine list was on the expensive side but it was really decent. I am nicely sozzled now and enjoying a cup of tea at home...
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 18:33, Reply)
G'morning scum.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 8:56, Reply)
Hullo

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 9:42, Reply)
<s> u </s> e
You're welcome.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:27, Reply)
You need people like me so you can use your fuckin' fingers and type “morning”

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 9:44, Reply)
I only use my fuckin' fingers for fingerfuckin'.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:24, Reply)
it's sunday, do you really have to talk about work?

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:40, Reply)
I'm not feeling very well.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 10:30, Reply)
I'm having a top notch sherry, bout to start work on a beef roast

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 11:20, Reply)
You're doing it wrong, you're supposed to go to work on an egg.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:23, Reply)
If you ring as soon as possible after 8am tomorrow there's a very slim chance you might be able to get an appointment to tell me all about it.
Not that I'll care
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:22, Reply)
Do you not use online appointment booking?

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:32, Reply)
Yes, we have pre-bookable online appointments available as soon as Spring 2018!

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:33, Reply)
I book one a week just incase

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:05, Reply)
GPs hate him!

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:49, Reply)
alright

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 10:54, Reply)
oh don't start that again

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:28, Reply)
going out to get lunch

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 11:18, Reply)
vietnamese/chinese/asian fried noodles with vegs it is then

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:47, Reply)
<s> e <s/> a
They open up sideways you know
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:29, Reply)
What ho.
Just come back from the Engurlish carol service at the Engurlish church.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:00, Reply)
A wholesome event, no gays or blacks allowed

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:08, Reply)
Oh, you're wrong there, m8: the black community was heavily represented.
I didn't see the delegation from the gay community so they may have been going undercover.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:09, Reply)
I thought you can't just see that someone is "different"

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:48, Reply)
twtj.jpg

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 13:14, Reply)
train wreck or totally jammin ?
one of them is a type of weed and the other?
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 14:02, Reply)
teroes in a half shell

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 14:07, Reply)
You can totally tell when someone is gay, they have those funny lips and their eyes are empty because they have no souls.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:36, Reply)
"Oh little town of Bermondsey", that sort of thing?

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:38, Reply)
More like 'jazz' versions of the classics in order to make the Christian message appeal to da yoof.
We did get to sing five or six proper traditional carols, though, so I'm not feeling short-changed for all that. They'd laid on mince pies and mulled wine afterwards but I steered clear of that, as I didn't particularly fancy the barrage of self-righteous "Haven't seen you here before" and "We do a service every Sunday, you know" from the churchy crowd.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:44, Reply)
First thing we went to church, they tried to recruit my boy to the choir. He ran away.
Don't think I've ever stayed for the after service refreshments, likely for the same reasons you didn't.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 13:29, Reply)
They say "All are welcome."
They mean "All are welcome as long as you promise to turn up every week without fail and help organise the Easter tombola and send your kids to Bible camp over the summer holiday and donate half a cupboard's worth of tinned goods for the harvest festival and put at least a tenner in the collection plate every week just to prove that you're serious about not wanting to go to Hell."
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 13:44, Reply)
Right, because today's teens just can get enough jazz, lol.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 14:19, Reply)
It's all pretty tragic.
Then again, I'd rather listen to jazz than whatever today's teens are listening to.
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 14:41, Reply)
Christian midi keyboard jazz though.
Not exactly going to be Charles Mingus is it?
(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 17:36, Reply)
This should win

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:33, Reply)
I'm the daddy now.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:39, Reply)
alright Daddy Cool

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 12:49, Reply)
Congratulations. I didn't know you were expecting

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:37, Reply)
It's totes festive here

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 13:24, Reply)
Does anyone have a link to Richard's trainer cleaning thread? I think I accidentally stepped into christmas.

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 16:42, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 19:13, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 19:32, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 19:52, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 19:55, Reply)
alright.

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 20:12, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 20:17, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 20:18, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 20:26, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 20:46, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 20:54, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 22:34, Reply)
alright

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 3:23, Reply)
alright!

(, Sun 17 Dec 2017, 13:56, Reply)
Herro evleebodee

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 10:33, Reply)
Hi Dr Nip!

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 10:55, Reply)
You are a velly sirry sausage!

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 11:10, Reply)
"I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell!"

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 11:39, Reply)
With so many Wings and Wongs in the phone book
you always end up winging the wong number!!!
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 12:52, Reply)
This morning, on a whim,
I listened to 'The Visitors' and thought it were reet good. Top pop-picking.
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 13:00, Reply)
Cheers!
Glad you enjoyed.
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 14:00, Reply)
Bet they're not ready for Christmas in China.

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 12:57, Reply)
the greatest gift they'll get this year is rife

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 17:36, Reply)
You're in the wrong lane, dear

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 17:37, Reply)
I am finding this WAY too funny!

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 18:29, Reply)
So what's your favourite ABBA song? I just can't decide and it's stopping me being ready for xmas

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 18:52, Reply)
Waterloo, waterloovely song that is

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:10, Reply)
Last time
I was at Waterloo station, I felt compelled to post a Facebook check in thing with "Couldn't escape if I wanted to". While waiting for the GPS to figure out where I was, I missed my sodding train.

So Arrival.
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 19:28, Reply)
The Name Of the Game.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:11, Reply)
Large Chiquitita and Chips

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:15, Reply)
Donald Where's Your Troosers?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:16, Reply)
Gimme Gimme Gimme (a right cuntstuffing)

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:24, Reply)
That song is filth, I want saink the old folks can enjoy

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:26, Reply)
Money Money Money (and bitches) ?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:29, Reply)
it's
why the fuck doesn't first class have wi-fi?

actually, it's 'gimme, gimme' cos it gets better the louder you play it
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:28, Reply)
None of them

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 19:37, Reply)
How on earth can you not have a favourite Xmas ready abba song???? Are you a Satan or saink

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:31, Reply)
So I got new Wi-fi.
If I change the name and password to the same as the old one will my devices with it saved just connect to the new one or is there more going on than that?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:10, Reply)
Yes

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:12, Reply)
No

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:12, Reply)
You are an arse

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:10, Reply)
No, matching SSID and password is all you need.
Or you could change your WiFi's name to something wakki.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:16, Reply)
The fuck is an SSID?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:10, Reply)
A snake with a speech impediment.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 23:17, Reply)
SIDS
static1.squarespace.com/static/55d9a2ebe4b090d1642480e9/t/57195709c6fc085b5b0faffa/1461278487768/?format=750w
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 0:39, Reply)
Anyway, I changed the Wi-Fi name and password to the same as the old one and all my devices connected.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:11, Reply)
That's all that really matters.
I have two routers in my house, both using the same SSID (name) and password, so people can keep their connection when moving to the back of the house.
thatsinterestingmonstermunch
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:26, Reply)
You fucking stupid fucking nerd

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:28, Reply)
you're such a popular page tart

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:31, Reply)
You fucking stupid fucking dribble

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:38, Reply)
Maybe this is what's stopping me
Stopping me, stopping you, ahaaaaa
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:13, Reply)
I had a maths conversation with some you dealer yesterday, explained that there are 28g in an ounce, so 1.6 isn't ant 8th , just over a teenth, still trying to get hold of that solid

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 20:38, Reply)
You can do it, Christmas ready or not

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:05, Reply)
that one with the bit that goes 'ooooo'

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:00, Reply)
Dancing Queen.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:17, Reply)
Nah, bad knee

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 22:17, Reply)
the one where one of them died and the others suffered long term agony as their physical and mental health declined

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 21:41, Reply)
The Visitors
Amazing piece of music. Really dark, edge of sanity stuff with a superb drive to it - so danceable - and gets under the skin of someone waiting for the Stazi coming to kick the doors in. A group of musicians at their absolute peak and at breaking point - just like Fleetwood Mac when they did Rumours. One of my favourite tracks of all time.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 22:21, Reply)
I Hate You So Fuckin Much I Ain't Had a Shit Since Sunday (The Cilla Black version)

(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 0:42, Reply)
Knowing Me Knowing you has a decent bassline.
There.
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 9:20, Reply)
Shart on a donkey, it's 15.10!
How's your friday going, fellow beetans.

Weekend glans?
I may go and see the new star war.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:11, Reply)
apparently I'm buying a fucking tree and dragging it a mile across the city and lugging it up five flights of stairs
and mounting it in some cumbersome fucking holder so that the toddler can pull every single last needle off it over the course of the next few weeks.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:14, Reply)
that's the spirit!

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:16, Reply)
grrrinch

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:29, Reply)
That bird's only gone and welched on me at the last minute,
because of "an emergency". First time so she's covered by the benefit of the doubt, but if I find out that she's taking the piss, she and I are going to have a conversation that she's not going to enjoy.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Sushi with a stranger for you, then
How do you meet these willing victims? Tinder?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:17, Reply)
On this occasion, one of its competitors, which will remain nameless.
I've had a look on my social website to see if there's owt else interesting on tonight but it's looking a bit tragic, especially so for a Friday.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:21, Reply)
Grindr?
He's Carl from Monday to Friday but at the weekend he's Sassy Susan and ANYTHING GOES!
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:38, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:40, Reply)
I've never tried Grindr.
This is due to not having the body of a chiselled Greek demigod.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:45, Reply)
OR BEING A RAMPANT HOMO...
I was on grindr, and I ent chiselled
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:58, Reply)
Chiselled? No,
bits of me look like they've been sanded, in a haphazard way, by a YTS trainee
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:05, Reply)
understatement of the year right there
peeled, maybe
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:15, Reply)
*swipes left*

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:20, Reply)
spud-u-don't-like

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:20, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:26, Reply)
Mods!!
Im being bullied by the board adonises
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:36, Reply)

onises enoids
(, Sat 16 Dec 2017, 12:49, Reply)
reevesandmortimerhandbags.jpg

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:17, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:22, Reply)
it's for your own benefit
You don't want to wake up tomorrow morning with period blood under your fingernails.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:17, Reply)
Wouldn't have been the first time tbh.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:21, Reply)
I've just coughed up four and a half grand rent/deposit, so a cheap weekend awaits
My accounts have not been this bare for a couple of years...I don't like it.

Roast beef with the nipper on Sunday. Who knows - maybe I'll be ready for Christmas by then
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:16, Reply)
Have an extra Yorkshire, just to be sure.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:17, Reply)
Roadkill scavenged from the North Circular makes an inexpensive and nutritious alternative to roast beef.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:30, Reply)
I'm gonna be getting my festives on proper style ugitme?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:25, Reply)
Went to a deli in town, bough a gift for each of my co-workers, that is the good deed done for this year
Star Wars at some point, and finish off the shopping for that festive holiday that is coming up shortly. The mrs has watched an episode of Taskmaster on Dave, so will probably have to watch some of them.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:36, Reply)
Might eat some of them bananas
they're looking awfully ripe. May have to bake them into a cake.

Edit: sounds like it should be read out by Bruce in Family Guy.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Cut them into slices, stick them in a bag and freeze it
When you want a treat, put them in a blender with a little bit of milk, banana ice cream.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:45, Reply)
Or not
Whatever
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:46, Reply)
That's not banana ice cream.
That's banana milkshake.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:47, Reply)
If you put in more than a little bit of milk, yes
Because you are a spaz for not following a simple fucking recipe
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:49, Reply)
Fuck you, Keith "Quantities are for pussies" Floyd.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:50, Reply)
I miss Keith, he was fucking awesome

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:51, Reply)
He was a star.
His autobiography's a laugh as well. Sample quote: "I drove my secretary back to London at 140 mph the whole way and scared the living shit out of her."
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:53, Reply)
Can imagine the rest as...
"had to keep it there, any slower and the optics I'd had on installed on the dash would resonate horribly and I'd lose yet more grain and grape to the shag-pile at my feet."
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:57, Reply)
I've not read that *adds to list*

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:03, Reply)
wow you really know how to treat yourself

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:49, Reply)
I think I'll keep cocaine as my favourite treat

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:55, Reply)
and whiskers on kittens...

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:59, Reply)
Nop. Gak'll be enough.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:03, Reply)
I haven't the stamina for anything other than a bit of herb these days

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:04, Reply)
I don't have any self restraint.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:06, Reply)
alright alicia keys

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:05, Reply)
nah mate, frozen bananas, I swear down

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:04, Reply)
I think my aunty has sent me and ladypig a card meant for a gay couple.
It says "to you and your partner, have a lovely christmas" and it's two male looking bears and it's a bit sort of sparkly and camp.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:30, Reply)
sounds fabulous
Are they not polar bears?
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:46, Reply)
lol bender

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 16:59, Reply)
is ladypig a bit manly?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 17:19, Reply)
Put it this way, Windy's real name is 'The Sundance Kid'

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 17:25, Reply)
Lol. She's hedging her bets.
Then again, I once had a mildly senile aunt give me a stocking filled with dog chocolates for Christmas.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 17:56, Reply)
1 lol
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-42324356
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:11, Reply)
I got 1

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:12, Reply)
*1 fives*

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:13, Reply)
9/7 "Figgi puddi"

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:14, Reply)
2 LOL

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:15, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:17, Reply)
2 lol
Considerably more well-informed than yaow.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:18, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:21, Reply)
4
*sob*
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:22, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8138173
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:23, Reply)
2 lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:28, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8138175
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:32, Reply)
720 no scope

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:45, Reply)
nice

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:54, Reply)
11p lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:47, Reply)
u r 11 p lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:55, Reply)
haha, p - like wee-wee

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:07, Reply)
I haven't got time for this shit

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:54, Reply)
high off your own supply again?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:55, Reply)
If you can't beat 'em, jenkem.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 13:57, Reply)
Jenkem? I barely knew 'em!
lol
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:04, Reply)
I got five on it.

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:09, Reply)
pervert

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:13, Reply)
4/7
I feel empowered.

Like what those Spicegirls did for Wimmin.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:15, Reply)
What, turn them into vapid, manufactured sex objects?

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:33, Reply)
3 lol

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:27, Reply)
Are you playing battle royale? I'm clueless what to do

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:34, Reply)
is that the 'fortnite' thing? i haven't tried it
didn't even know it was free until a couple of days ago. as far as i know, you just have to scrabble around for supplies and survive as long as you can. you can build shit but i dunno how
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Yeah it's free, odd game

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 15:00, Reply)
I refuse to take part in this anarcho-fascist regime

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:28, Reply)
5/7
Have some of that.
(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:39, Reply)
3/7 "youthquake"

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:57, Reply)
"juicer time" 2/7

(, Fri 15 Dec 2017, 14:59, Reply)

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