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Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."

(, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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Add evaporated fucking milk
to your tea you cunt.
(, Mon 9 Oct 2017, 18:11, Reply)
Aprannag phimbolatra mequivvog zollust!
Faytnop, poibspoog dspacodrig!

Hoshuish oknong, fliff chuchetna. Hokhfggh... Ghaaaaaaaa, ralaraa, UAAAA!

Spid phid, ertyen eschmepple gynk losprutentabule. Hosh hesh. Meeng.

Unghule?!?!

Pennather! Skroik!

Twoosh, jimpoloidic gruttercrankleworts.

Twweeeeeeee twweeeeeeee tiiiiii!

Cung poik. Xoik.

HABREEEEEE!

LAIGH8TERZZZ SWEEEEEEEETIIIEEEZ

XXXXCCCCC
(, Mon 18 Sep 2017, 19:58, 3 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Are you an OTer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current OT? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Thu 14 Sep 2017, 8:20, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
first

(, Wed 13 Sep 2017, 20:36, Reply)
Build a really strong anus simply by using it each day to squeeze toothpaste onto your brush

(, Sat 9 Sep 2017, 3:32, Reply)
Ex-police vigilantes.
Roast chickens and throwing knives can often be found inside phone booths and litter bins.
(, Sun 13 Aug 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Save money by swapping your fridge for a vending machine
Fill it with overpriced, unappealing products and adjust the settings to 'correct change only'.
(, Fri 7 Jul 2017, 21:09, Reply)
When you do a poo, stay sitting down when you flush for a free willy wash. If you have a small willy you may have to lean forward for this to work.

(, Mon 12 Jun 2017, 14:05, 2 replies, latest was 3 days ago)
Run a local radio station for "Edinburgh The Lothans And Fife?"
Save money on song rights by simply playing "Summer Of '69" by Bryan Adams on a continuous loop. I am sure nobody will notice!
(, Wed 31 May 2017, 20:28, Reply)
If your career with Trinity Mirror spectacularly fails, try and ressurect a really bent and now largely irrelevant website by doing a newsletter that has funny swears within

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 16:13, Reply)
Make things happen by doing things.

(, Fri 19 May 2017, 9:54, Reply)
Help contribute to the dying website that is b3ta
By putting other members on ignore.

It really helps. You stupid motherfucker.
(, Sat 13 May 2017, 6:04, Reply)
willy bum bum

(, Tue 2 May 2017, 14:08, Reply)
When playing with balls mind windows and walls
Ouch!
(, Sun 16 Apr 2017, 14:17, 1 reply, 6 months ago)
Encourage more comedy stage acts to advertise on your website, by actually bothering to spell their names right.

(, Sun 9 Apr 2017, 9:49, 5 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
Prevent things by doing other things

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Top Tips (6904 stories)

(, Tue 28 Mar 2017, 14:16, Reply)
Bring back 2015
by deleting your posts.
(, Wed 15 Feb 2017, 15:04, 2 replies, latest was 7 months ago)
If plagued by hordes of haspotremes
simply zip the bioghoom tite on your smabband, boy, girl alien yeah...

...This will... Ah...

Oooh aaaaaargh...

Prevent haspotremes... From

Xixxing your froox

Uuuuuuuuuuuuub uuuuug

XXXXXXXXX
(, Fri 27 Jan 2017, 20:14, 1 reply, 9 months ago)
Gone

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 18:08, 2 replies, latest was 9 months ago)
1

(, Tue 24 Jan 2017, 18:08, Reply)
Surely you mean 3...
Now it's 2
(, Wed 18 Jan 2017, 18:10, Reply)
Push 2015
off the page by making two more posts.
(, Thu 12 Jan 2017, 19:30, Reply)
Want people to think you're a scabby soap-dodging twat?
Pretend to wash your hands after using the toilet by turning on the tap, and waving your piss-misted, turd-smeared mitts in the vague direction of the water.

As a bonus, you dont have to this if there's no-one else around.
(, Thu 5 Jan 2017, 20:37, Reply)
Security
Why not make it really fucking annoying to log into this site.
(, Sat 3 Dec 2016, 11:45, 5 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Do you mind, you're pushing 2015 off the page.

(, Wed 14 Sep 2016, 10:24, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
b3ta proprietors,
save on electricity by turning it off
(, Wed 6 Jul 2016, 14:34, Reply)
Men
Save on toilet paper by waxing your arse.
(, Tue 24 May 2016, 15:06, 1 reply, 1 year ago)
Tescos!
Open a store in east africa, i'm always hearing abut how they've got nothing to eat over there, i'm sure they'd welcome a low-cost supermarket where they can get cottage pies and that
(, Sun 22 May 2016, 17:50, Reply)
Shove it up your arse

(, Wed 4 May 2016, 20:58, 1 reply, 1 year ago)

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