Insincere apologies
Feel a grudging social pressure to apologise for something, even though you don't feel remotely sorry about it and are, if anything, kinda proud of it? (yes, Mr Tevez, we're looking at you...)
Here's your chance!
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 17:26, Reply)

Reincarnation?
If you could live your life again, who would you be?
Would you come back as yourself; your significant other; somebody famous; your cat/dog/hamster; historical figure or somebody fictional?
and why? Is it because they’re rich, successful,pampered, intelligent, funny, stupid, mad as a box of cats?
Because we all know we’re going to come back as a starving child in Ethiopia or somesuch.
(Monkee girl, Wed 22 Feb 2012, 3:23, Reply)

TPS reports etc.
Tell us of your experience with pointless paperwork, this might tie in with Scaryducks idea below.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 22:15, Reply)

Corporate idiocy
From that Al Murray's Twitter: "Car insurance company rang, without having sent me a renewal letter, asking for money. Made *them* answer security questions." Tell us your stories about etc etc etc
( Scaryduck - twitter.com/scaryduck, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 11:51, 1 reply, 2 days ago)

Attempting something new
I have just had a schmozzle day with attempting to weave a basket for the first time. First time blues or awesome success?
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 0:56, Reply)

Brief moments in time
Fleeting glimpses of beauty, wonder and down right hideousness.

What moments in time stick in your memory?
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Random acts of bastardry...

As a contrast to the present QotW, has anybody been victim to somebody being a total twuntcake to you with no apparent reason?
(Mr Twisty Cheeky is the worst kept secret in B3ta, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 13:08, Reply)

Saucepan on the head? Snapped banjo string?
What misguided activities have resulted in you taking a trip to Casualty?
(Eukanuba is back with a brand new invention, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 13:05, Reply)

Stuff you're not sure you believe but choose to anyway.
There's a man in my local whose rumoured to have had a go on Annie Lennox back before she was famous. Nobody is really sure if this is true or not, but everyone chooses to believe it anyway for mild amusement.
(Gormo is the reason why paradise lost, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 12:43, Reply)

Different at home
I once shared an office with a very shy and quiet temp who turned out to be the official coach for a national Turkish weightlifting champion. Ever spent years alongside someone very unassuming, only to find out that their home life is exotic and/or stalky?
(Galactic Yeti, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:30, 1 reply, 6 days ago)

Blowback.
When did you try to help something and it all went wrong?
( Dr Preference beveragonormative hegemonarrative, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 22:22, Reply)

Culinary disasters
I once managed to set fire to a potato. Can anyone do any better than that?
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 18:12, Reply)

Greatest achievements.
What is the most awesome thing you've done?
(Vigilante Man reverted to type on, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 0:43, Reply)

TOPICAL
Let's get romantic. With Valentines Day fast approaching, tell us about your most horrific break-ups and failed love stories. Just so that I know it's not only me.
( the pink chicken sniffer sniffs pink chickens., Thu 9 Feb 2012, 11:44, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

Virgins of the world unite.
Why have you never lost your virginity? Do you cry when you wank?

Tell us your sweaty handed stories.
( The Mock Turtle --- Soup!, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Unwanted houseguests
A couple of years back, my sister asked if she could visit for the weekend. A few days before she arrived, she mentioned she was bringing her friend Adam (who I didn't know from, er...) who was running in the London Marathon. And his mum. Come Friday night, as I was preparing to go out on the piss, this guy's mum is giving me grief because I haven't laid on dinner for them. Tell us your stories of nightmare visitors who overstayed their welcome. Or who weren't even welcome in the first place. Or just make something up.
( Ain't nothin' but the E to the M to the motherfuckin' V cyberpimp, Thu 9 Feb 2012, 0:06, Reply)

Welcome to my world
Give us a glimpse of life as it is lived by you. It could be your average day - told with flair of course - or it could be a small (or big) incident that recently happened in your life that shines a light onto your existence.

Any mention of croissants and/or balconies will not be tolerated.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 8 Feb 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Oscar Winning Performances
A load of overpaid 'stars' are about to cover themselves in glory if they win an Oscar this month.

But what about your own, genuine, Oscar Winning Performances? When have you acted your heart out to avoid an outcome you didn't want? Have you talked your way out of a fight, talked your way into someone's bed or dodged a prison sentence in court? What moment in your life would you award yourself an Oscar for?

Let's celebrate our own, far superior acting skills and then maybe it will be bearable to see Clooney win best actor for that pile of shite - The Descendants.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 7 Feb 2012, 12:24, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

What makes you awesome?
Have you done a burnout on your shitty scooter that your mates at college thought was amazing?
Did you jump your bmx a foot off the ground?
What things have you done that you think are totally awesome and everyone else needs to hear you brag about?

And no, you did not pick up 2 supermodels in your Honda Accord and then have a threesome
(wehttamman I got a DVD, I got a DVD, and it was Dr. Who!, Tue 7 Feb 2012, 3:36, Reply)

You've been blamed!
Tell us of times were either you've framed others or vice versa...
( dazbrilliantwhites Jesus Raptor Eyes, Mon 6 Feb 2012, 21:35, Reply)

Random acts of kindness
Has anyone ever been nice to you, out of the blue, for no reason? Make me believe that the world is a better place than the media and experience suggest.
( crackhouseceilidhband RUN - http://www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/24077, Sun 5 Feb 2012, 17:43, Reply)

What the fuck was THAT?
Intended to be evoke a moment but be broadly interperable for storytelling purposes, like the classic 'The Onosecond'. Come on b3ta, let's have something that doesn't second-guess our anecdotes. Not that I've got any but still.
(electricteeth, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 19:37, Reply)

Rant
Do the youth of today piss you off? Do old people driving grind your gears?

Get it off your chest, have a rant about anything and everything.
( The Mock Turtle --- Soup!, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 12:06, Reply)

Clean.
Tell us your stories of tidy, spotless, dusted and mopped.
( The Mock Turtle --- Soup!, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 11:57, Reply)

Mad science!
Tell the collective about your crazy concoctions, hacks and fudges; things that simply Should Not Work, but for some reason do. Chilli Coffee. Nine-wheeled bicycles. The combination cigarette-rolling/fellatio machine. Tell us of the tortured mental processes that lead you to the point of inspiration!

And for bonus points tell us what your spouse/partner/best mate said when the smoke had cleared and blood-stains were out of the wallpaper.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 11:20, Reply)

What was/is your Big Plan?
When your teachers asked, "What are you going to do when you're a grown up?", what did you say? Did it work out? Are you really an astronaut? What made/ruined it for you?
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 17:32, Reply)

Sitcom-esque Moments...

What things have you witnessed or been a part of that are so bizarre that they would not look out of place in a cheesy sitcom?

NOTE - 'I work in an office like the one in The Office' posts need not apply
(Mr Twisty Cheeky is the worst kept secret in B3ta, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:24, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

Family strife.
What family moment caused you to pull your hair out in frustration?
( The Mock Turtle --- Soup!, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:01, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)

Prison stories.
What hilarious things happened when you were banged up?
( The Mock Turtle --- Soup!, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 11:00, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)

Superheroes...

What acts have you done that would qualify you as a superhero? Any inexplicable feats of courage, strength or speed that made people stare at you in wonder?

Or...if you could create a superhero persona for yourself, what type would you be? I would like to be known as 'Captain Sex-tastic', but am painfully aware that I am a much more likely 'Mongoloid Man' :(
( Pooflake save yourself some grief...put me on 'Ignore' now, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 10:37, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)